Woah - Time flies

In a fit of nostalgia, I checked this time capsule of atrocious spelling, grammar, and fossilized stress. The little “stats” button informs me people are still reading my journey through law school a decade later. Setting aside the internal cringe at my public inability to string a coherent sentence together maybe the occasional reader might like to know how it all worked out. It is wild to think the duration of my legal education has now been doubled by the time spent in practice. However, that checks out because apparently law school exams are now done on the computer with access to the internet (WTF) so the march towards being a dinosaur that gets irked by changes to legislation websites is well underway. After law school I was fortunate enough to find work in Criminal Law. I now have my own little practice with a small team I am wildly proud of. Most days I still get excited to go to work and play in the sandpit with my colleagues on both sides of the bar table. Life is good, practice is good. I am blessed to have had the opportunity for higher education that changed my life in so many ways. Law School was a highlight of my youth where I made friends I am still in touch with, some of which I even get to work with. For the students who are reading, persevere! My grades were lackluster, it was not the end of the world. One subject at a time, one semester after the other and taking each year as it comes, see it through. If there was one little soapbox to get up on, mine would be to take every opportunity to moot. The subjects for areas I do not practice in (i.e International law & well… I can’t even remember the subjects so, that speaks volumes) have faded the skills and lessons from mooting serve me everyday in court. My deepest hope for you is wherever this journey takes you, you also find happiness and success. - Obiter Ovum

Results are are

I just logged into my uni account, marks are out. I have completed and passed a law degree. 

So close to the finish line...

Tomorrow I sit what might well be my last ever law school exam. I have not allowed myself to think about graduation. What if I pass everything (if I was to tell you this is person I would have a death-grip on something wooden)? If I do, it will mean the end of this leg of the journey. It feels as if it has taken forever and sped by at the same time. 

I remember the moment I decided upon law. I was living in country town with Mr Ovum, for some reason lawyers came up and he said 'I would make a better lawyer than you', it was pretty much game-on from that point. Shorty after I called my mother and suggested I would study law, her reply was "law is awfully hard and has lots of reading..." she was not trying to dissuade but understandingly sceptical about my commitment. 

To be fair, I never completely allowed myself to believe I would finish it due to my poor track record of sticking at things. I guess the slow plodding nature of small goals, such a assignments, semesters and exams all moving at a glacial pace towards the finish line contributed to my continued enrolment. 

In the past five years I have studied; 44 subjects, sat 8 exam blocks, been on four competitive moot teams, mentored students, been elected to the LLS, made a significant number of friends and called the Dean Darth Vader in a comedy debate. I have squeezed every experience I could out of my time here. 

It is looking like I might have until the end of 2014 planned out until I have to answer then dreaded 'what next' question.. 

Accounting exam

Do you remember being in maths class and typing 80085 in your calculator to make it spell BOOBS? Just writing that sentence I realise you can't make a calculator spell... Well, had I done that for an hour in my accounting exam it would have had the same impact on my marks as the answers I gave. 

Poor Mr Ovum, crazy Obiter from first year law is back and it's worse. It's math this time. He totally supported and encourage me to take the accounting class. It's all his fault really. So much so I felt the need to call up and yell at him for making me take a class that will probably put back my graduation. I am a being of total rationality. 

This year I am on the student team of the comedy debate. I have some absolute gold. 

To scared to begin the count down - Obiter 

Accounting 101

Under 12 weeks until the end of the law school journey. I embarked on this process skeptical as to wether or not I will see it through. I have a long history of giving up and moving on to the next thing. How else could I have been a chef, real-estate agent, mortgage broker, direct sales man and other minor roles?

With only a few weeks separating me from the biggest achievement in my life it is almost a certainty. Almost. I am not going to jinx it! 

I will be able to look back on the last five years and smile, I have enjoyed the large portion of my time at university. The highs such as getting on the Jessup moot and the moot itself, the lows including a almost total breakdown over understanding contracts. Good gracious part performance and warranty law have left deep scars on my brain. 

I have become accustomed to being faced with challenging concepts and working through them to understand and apply the law. This semester to push myself I decided it was a good idea to take accounting 101. I am such an idiot. 

I think accounting is more frustrating then first year law. I hate numbers, I hate math and I loath accounting logic. Numbers posses a deep black magic that strikes terror into my brain. After hours and hours of attempting the same fucking problem the answers are not correct. This is driving me bat-shit. At the end of this semester I am going to follow through with lighting a fire and feeding it the devils work that is the accounting text book. One page at a time. 

My shift as a market researcher (telemarketing without the sale) is about to begin. I was feeling pretty pissed off about my situation until a lady mentioned she has a masters in criminal law and starting a PHD is also working here. At least we can hate the job market together. 

Balance this you fuc*#r - Obiter 

Short story assessment

I am taking a subject the requires a short story. I have never written one before. I don't know how I feel about it... I had only 1,500 words to play with. Here it is. 

A CONSIDERED DECISION 

As oblivious to my surroundings as ever I failed to mind my step, tripping into the homeward bound train. After locating a seat between a portly man with a slightly offensive odour and a goth chick reading fifty shades of Grey I planted my ass. 

Fat-Mans' odour was wrongly assigned, typical, blame the fat one. Instead the mushroomy cross sneaker smell was wafting off Miss Manson. Actually, Fat-Man smelt like Ck Obsession, my favourite cologne. Defence lawyers should know better then to judge on appearance. 

Defending criminals I have learnt to stop thinking about the acts of my clients and look to the mechanics of the law to find the gaps. Instead, seeking loopholes and missed procedure to put my charge back within the law or outside its sphere of punishment.

Taking out my copy of some top 100 classic I read with only half interest. Preferring instead to think of more interesting ways to pass the time such as perving on any captive trade.

Warm bodies flooded into the carriage at the next stop. As seats were at a premium people were standing in the isles. This suited me perfectly as some handsome man with an ass tight enough to turn coal into diamonds in a flattering and expensive suit is now standing inches from my nose. 

 Thinking scenarios more suitable to the novel Miss Manson was reading I attempted to return to my crusty Literature. Nope.

My attention was squarely at the gentleman's fun zone questioning if he was a tightie-whitie or boxer brief kind man. Damn it. Focus, read your book I scalded myself. 'It is quite true that I have worshipped you with far more romance of feeling than a man usually gives to a friend.', even the old book was conspiring against my attempt at mental purity.

I resigned to taking in the view, casually slipping my sunnies down to conceal my cheeky pondering. Nothing inconspicuous about sunglasses at 6pm. On a train. Would there be a trail of hair? Does he "manscape", he is definitely not a manscaper, well not for the purpose of my escapism.  

'Hey, do you mind?' Mr Stunning asked. Crap, crap, crap how could he tell?

'Do you mind if I could read the blurb of your book?' he asked again with a rum and honey voice. 

About to apologise for my inadequate camouflage I thrust the book up to him, lord knows what may have come out of my traitorous mouth. 

'Actually you can keep it, I am finished' fell out. Our hands didn't touch but the heat radiating off his arms had my hairs standing on end. Unkindly, the pre-recorded train voice announced my station. 

'Hey! Can I get your number to return the book?' Called Mr Tight Ass.

I was half way to the door when I fell over Fat-Man and landed on Miss Manson's lap. Managing to catch a few words of Miss Manson's book on the way up. She flushed red when we made eye contact. I had been thinking quite similar things only moments before. 

Mr What's-In-Those-Pants handed me a pen and the book, quickly jotting down my mobile and a winky face. I am not limited to the verbal shits, it extends to written form. 

A few weeks go by, I hang about the same carriage as when I saw Mr Top-Gluteus the first time. Maybe I would see him again. 

Today I spied Mr Sexy-Pants across the carriage reading my book. It could have been chance and it could have been my intense starring that caused him to look up and make eye contact. There was what could have been a wink but probably a blink followed by him retuning a downward gaze. All in my head, much like the things I have done to him. Nothing creepy about that.

My phone vibrated with a message, it was from an unknown number 'morning handsome'. Who? What? Oh... Mr Dashing has my number from my first "appraisal". 

'Coffee?' faded up on the screen. 

'YOLO' spoke my fingers. YOLO? what am I? some vapid 13 year old Belieber? With that my "coffee" date with Mr Probably-Tighty-Whities was set for tonight.  

On my schedule is the courts for criminal call over on my sexual assault file, Mr Binder. The client will be there for the first time to give instructions as to what happened. It will be easy enough, stand up before the judge and request a month to do something it will take me about 10 minutes to do.

From the file I can see various defences, both legally and factually. The assault was on a young man after a hook up at the Beat. The complainant alleged he was tied up and beaten. The witness's statement lacked internal logic and read more like a work of horror fiction. I will make him out to be a drug addled twink should it go to trail. 

After an accusation is levelled most people see a single act as defining a person. The criminal stops being a father, brother, husband and pillar of the community. After a few years this shifted and I see the majority of my clients as people with a history and circumstances. 

It is only a short walk to the courts, however it is time enough for me to drench myself and the file in coffee. Busy cursing my propensity to be graceful like a bush turkey and as elegant as a rhino I did not see Mr Porn-Star approach. 

'Here, your tie is all drenched, have mine', with that he took his off and handed it to me, exposing just enough chest to leave me wanting his shirt too. Traces of CK Obsession left from where it rubbed his neck touched my nose. Any chance of actually drinking coffee on our date is dwindling away. 

Discussing the news and other comments an eaves dropper would mistake for respectable conversation turned a touch filthy.

He asked 'do you like baseball? Are you a pitcher or catcher?' in a leather and velvet tone. We shared a mutual preferred position, in baseball for the unknowing passer-by. Our banter became pre-text discussion for acts to be committed later.

'This is me' I shrugged as we neared the court. 

'Oh, me too!' Mr Smutty replied. According to Mr Next-Notch-In-My-Belt he had a criminal matter on today. Another lawyer, that explains the suit. 

We entered the complex and parted company. I head towards the men's room to dry off the remaining coffee. The door swings open, he has followed me in. 

It is just Mr Filthy-Things and I. Pushed up against the wall he presses into me while kissing me hard. His trimmed stubble grazing my face. He tastes like maple syrup and cinnamon. 

His abs have a downy coat of hair. Just as I had hoped. As interested as I am in answering the underwear mystery, call over starts in 2 minutes. We are cut short and head to court 18. 

'All arise' called the bailiff. Judge Bat-Crap-Crazy entered the room. 'Good morning, Ms Prosecutor who is first today?'. The excitable new prosecutor stood up and called 'the matter of R v Binder'. 

Making my way to the front of the court Mr Binder joined me, it is quite usual for clients to meet their lawyer on the fist court date, at the bar table. Turning to tell the client to sit down I was somewhat taken aback to see Mr Not-Really-Coffee was Mr Binder. 

A date was set and Mr Binder, first name Benjamin and I went to a small private meeting room to talk about his defence. It was all business now I represent him. Lawyers are not to sleep with clients lest a conflict of interest arrises. 

Benjamin expressed his innocence and having read the statements I believe him. After explaining the law and his options the conversation turned to 'Coffee'. Fuck it, fuck the rules, I want to feel his skin against mine. 

It was pretty clear our interests were not going to conflict, competing desires perhaps, but not conflict. The need to explore the curvature of his wast line into his pants became a persistent and consuming insatiable craving. 

From court we went to his house. Benjamin goes commando. The sex. It was not sex. It was the satisfaction of a hunger that had been eating at me for weeks. After much competing I passed out from exhaustion. 

I woke up tied to the bed, bound and gagged, not a bad thing in and of itself. I have read fifty shades of Grey, I am open to a second round with Benjamin.

Life is not a romance fiction. The accused can be guilty. If I live how will my witness statement read? With what he has in his hand who will believe it?

Last semester

Been a while... So much has happened. 

The Moot: 

It happened, under a series of events I did not end up speaking in the competition I spent thousands of dollars on and many, many hours away from my loved ones and partner. In addition I missed out on two further interviews for positions as a judges associate. I will probably always be bitter and twisted about that. Still, it was an amazing experience that I would do again in a heart beat. 

Grades: 

As is my custom I passed everything, not a credit in sight. I would have failed two subjects had I not fought the justice school at the third level of appeal for remarks. Fighting for marks is not something I thought would be a common theme in my degree, thank goodness for my legal education! 

I can't help but wonder what my marks would look like if I did not spend so many hours on the multitude of extra curricular activities in the LLS? There are those super human beings that can maintain superb marks, work and study. I am not one of them. However, if I were to do it again I would not change a thing. 'Giving back' through running competitions, peer mentoring or mooting have been the highlights of the last 5 years. 

Employment:

Shortly after returning from mooting in Europe I was made redundant. The job I was supposed to graduate evaporated into thin air. Consequently I am working in a call centre and at the door of the Cackle Berry. Not ideal, actually it sucks. A lot. Years ago I had a motto that encapsulated how my life seemed to work 'when I am low I always bounce back higher than before', we will see if this remains true. I have something quite exciting in the works... When the papers are signed I promise to tell you immediately. 

Last semester:

I am on the home stretch, 11 weeks until I am finished my law degree. Last semester I finished all the requirements for the Justice Degree, it was only a week after the last exam did this dawn on me. There was no excitement only the small feeling achievement. As much as I value my Justice degree, the real prize is the law degree. 

With only one law subject left I have taken various electives from other schools. As a requirement for a popular fiction subject I get to read Tarzan, Twilight and The Hobbit. Warm happy feelings fill me every time I read curriculum enforced fiction. To balance out the finger painting subjects I am taking accounting. Math is a evil, wicked nasty thing. You can't argue with pure logic, 1+1 will always be 2, no matter how hard your argue. 

Perhaps I might just blog again before I graduate - Obiter 

Life is a journey.

Over 20 rejection letters from the Court for my applications to be an associate, the lower court has not started interviewing (or so I hear) but I have made peace with the fact I am unlikely to hear anything. The last few weeks have been a real journey of personal development in a number of ways.

I was diagnosed by two different psychiatrists with a personality trait that flys very, very closely to autism in my teens. I obsess and until my early 20's was socially inept. I obsess, and I absorb lots of information about a topic. It feels not like a want to know but a need. I guess the best example is when I was I child being told I can't have any water (we would be out and about) I may not have been thirsty but I the needed water, it became an all consuming desire, all my head space became fixated on it and I would not give up until I had water. Now this alone just sounds like a spoilt child, I get that but it would extend to various things, odd things, the need to know everything about praying mantises, every line to Aladdin, the Lion King, a weird ass peg doll and imaginary friend when I was 13, getting in to law school, the list goes on. Unfortunately no subject at uni has sparked this fanatical desire to know everything about a topic, that's cool. Whatever...

Getting a job as an associate did. For the first time what I want was totally outside of my control, there was nothing more I could do then submit my applications, I could not follow up and persuade them as I would after a poor sales presentation, I could not make them call me for an interview. My hands are totally tied, this is the first situation where I can not influence the result. It fucking sucks, I spent weeks looking at my phone like it was a traitor for not ringing. I have gone to depths of sadness over it that I have never been before. I know, deep down that my future plans are not compromised over this. However my focus has again shifted to an idea for a business, I need to talk to someone in the law society about how I can make it work and what needs to be put in place, if anything. While this may be a total waste of time it serves as a diversion from the associate issue. I need to feel in control again.

It was not until I read 'how to win friends and influence people' that I had a skill set to draw upon. Sounds sad but then I became obsessed with sales and people skills became second nature. After a very short time I became very, very good at sales and I loved it. I have jumped out of a plane and closing a million dollar mortgage refinance over a number of properties was the same rush. So too is mooting and doing court work.

The Vis moot has thrown so many issues about team work and interpersonal relationships. I remember a saying from sales years ago that is relevant 'don't wrestle with pigs, all you get is dirty and they love it', but with this person I want a fight, I will not subjugate my desires for theirs. Not this time, not when I am taking out a personal loan to compete, not when their wants also deprive others beside me from an experience. I need this whole thing to be over and be able to move on.

So begins my last year of law school, then the deafening silence from firms about employing me. I am resilient. I am not wired to be happy working for someone else anyway.

- and time marches forward - Obiter

Tanked it.

Deeply angry with myself.

I had an interview with a Supreme Court Justice to be their associate next year. I tanked it, the questions I was well prepared for were answered in the most vague and evasive (unintentionally so) manner. When thinking about the questions I kind of just sat there and smiled like an idiot before launching into some stupid blither about who knows what.

I feel like I have cheated myself out of an absolutely amazing job. I will probably be beating myself up over this for some time to come. Hopefully , and this is taking the most generous view of the situation, if the Supreme Court thinks I am worth a look then maybe I have a shot with the District court.

Every time I think about it I want to punch myself.

What an idiot - Obiter Ovum

Back to it.

I am going to give this iPad another chance to come up with the blogging goods. As you can see my last post looks like an unedited hunk even lacking paragraphs. It did not look like that when I pressed 'post' but I am holding to my not so strict rule of not editing once I press publish.

The Christmas season gave me a well needed break, however I am now a little bit behind in just about everything. 2,000 words on a civil procedure paper due in 12 hours, I have yet to put pen to paper but the reading is done and I am confident about where I want to take the paper. Moot meeting in 2 hours that I am overwhelming under prepared for, such is life.

Over the last 3 weeks I have out together about 60 applications to be a judges associate, I guess this well be a test of wether I was right in playing to my strengths by focusing more on the practical aspect of the law with mooting and working over academia. We will see. The plan 'B' is to finish on time in stead of earlier and do PLT at the same time, this will mean I am admitted sooner. As such I am not stressed if I don't get a position, either way it pans out I am happy with where I am going.

I need to re-check my degree progression but I think I have only 3 law subjects left, the remaining are other faculty electives (can we say creative writing 101!) and the Justice Degree I have been treating like the unloved child. The law degree has been the focus of my time at uni with the other degree often being ignored. That's a little exciting...

Well I think I have got the juices flowing enough to get into this assignment.

Keeping with the practice of being a bad law student - Obiter.

Again I have been thwarted by technology. I wrote a post on the iPad and promptly lost it on the blogger app. Winning. Results came out a few weeks ago, passed everything and got a sole credit for Principles of Sentencing. Meh, I am just happy I never, ever have to sit another Corporate law exam. The corporate law exam has to be my worst law school experience to date. We had to answer two out of the three given questions. Choice it always nice, however, after reading the first paragraph of question no.1 it was clear I had no idea what they wanted, so I was pretty much stuck with questions two and three, not really a choice. The first question I did was pretty straight forward, sure I missed stuff but I hit the main points. Then came the mother of all head benders. It was broken up into part a and part b, no problems there, actually part b was all about agency, I was all over agency as the moot I had just completed contained an agency issue. I had more or less neglected all my studies to moot to the Law Exam gods I owe a thank you for the moot/exam cross over. Then came part a. Now it looked simple enough until the problem was qualified with something along the lines of ‘do not consider Part XYZ of the Act’. It was at that point I kind of lost it. In the morning of the exam I looked at my 3,000 page Act and thought ‘I won’t need that’ BUZZZ WRONG! Yes I know, how can I think I would not need the Act for the subject taught on it? Well, I had notes, no need to bring in extra stuff I never look at any way! The point the story is I eventually worked out what part of the Act I was not supposed to apply, leaving me with absolutely nothing to say. I spend 30 minutes looking at my notes, the paper and then my stark white exam booklet with only my name on it. All this while everyone else around me was furiously pouring out all their knowledge on to the paper. For those of you who have sat a law exam, to stop writing for even a minute it petrifying let alone half a freaking hour! That was the longest 30 minutes of my life. It is summer holidays and yet again I will be in the library studying for a moot. This moot has been a challenge from day one. A fellow mooter and I decided to do this moot alone, without any assistance from the law school, then when we asked if they wanted to help it all went to shit. It was on then off, funded then unfunded, then it was sponsored then un-sponsored. In the long run the law school is giving their assent and giving us a coach but it has to be self-funded. When we started this we had plans to approach law firm for sponsorship, I am confident we could have made this work but the law school put a swift halt to that. At this point the gap between the ways and means of my fellow law students became clear. All 5 of the members had family that are funding their trip. All but me. The joys of being a semi-mature age student. Then a member of the team did something out of the blue. She paid for my flights. Never has an act of kindness like that happened to me before. I will pay her back, slowly, but it will happen. I will find a way of passing on that kindness to someone else as I know that will mean more to her than just repaying the money. I will find a way to do just that. The team is holding a fundraising dinner for me. I feel so blessed and loved. I have so much more to catch you up on so I guess I will have to post again shortly 

Reflections.

(this post was written over a month or so.)

On the way home from running another competition, on the 11:13pm train, the one where all the chefs go home on Viva La Viva by Cold play came on and I got all nostalgic.  I am in my 4^th year of law school, four years of my life has been devoted either to getting into or surviving this ordeal.

When I first heard the song I had moved back from a smallish country town with Mr Ovum, I had got my old job back at the Cackle Berry and had started my Justice Degree.  I used to be in some kind of awe of law students and lawyers. This has undergone a drastic shift.

I still love my job, still wake up eager to get there and sink my teeth into whatever problem or task I have been given. I have grown my network of friends (funny what being on the LSS will do) while keeping the best of the non-law folks.

Regarding the assessment from the last post, I had to push through three levels of appeal to get my points across. I passed the subject overall since the grade was changed, which is nice since that would have been the one and only fail on my transcript. However it was a long involved process and even though I eventually got what I needed some issues are unresolved. I could push it on further but I don’t have the time or inclination to do so. Also, I guess there is something to be said about being happy with what you have got.

A week ago the Mooting coordinator sent out an email calling for expressions of interest from the ‘senior and experienced mooters’ to moot in the Kirby Contracts moot, memorials are due in 9 days and orals a month after. Because I love to punish myself I opted in and was put on the team! At the very least it is some more experience before the ICC moot at the end of this year (which is coming up much faster than I anticipated – can’t believe it is week 7 of semester already, how did that happen?). But mooting with such a full schedule is quite punishing, it means more weeks of 5 hours sleep a night, not getting home until 1 or 2 in the morning.

Mooting has to be one of the best methods of legal education; my understanding of contracts (well certain areas of contract law) far surpasses the superficial knowledge I had to cram into my head in order to get a good grade. However it comes at a cost. Mooting is such a roller coaster. One moment you crack a legal argument and then the next moment you have wasted hour and hours on a research path that got you nowhere and leaves you feeling frustrated and angry. Through the course of this moot I have even put serious thought into whether I should be allowed to practice with so many gaps in my legal understanding of contracts.

Also, I guess once you chose a field or three you can get very, very familiar with that area of law. We spend upwards of 4 years at law school learning the subject across a broad field law, now these areas of law are all interrelated but how can a person be across all these areas in a meaningful way (and yes I know they are out there)?  

Much like Marlowe, I am hurtling to the end of my degree faster than I anticipated. I should have four (one thing I can take away from my law degree is much better writing skills than I had to start with, such as writing out the name of a number under 10 and using the number for numbers above 10) semesters  to go but I have over-loaded and will probably finish at the end of next year.

My feelings towards law school have generally morphed from keen enthusiasm to apathetic distain.  This, I suspect has been compounded by one particular mark in Intellectual Property Law. Brace yourself dear readers.

My mark was 6/40. Read that again. Yes six out of 40.  Can we say appeal to review board? I am not going to say it was a brilliant piece of academic enlightenment but it was well above a sound grade make. Even if I did submit a draft in a haze of stress and lack of sleep. So what happened? I failed to play the game.
 
Why would I share such a mark with you? Well, I think it was wrongly marked under the auspices of an ‘academic mafia’ that can be the universities. I usually take my grades as they come as they tend to be fair and on point, but this, this is just out of control.

In essence the assessment was to be a submission to the Federal Court regarding the decision of the Commissioner of Patents about the ‘substantial physical effect’ required to have a patentable ‘Business Method’.  I ran two arguments, one they were looking for and another I felt had a stronger prospect for success:

1.    There was  an effect substantial enough to warrant the patent; and
2.    The scope of what was required for ‘substantial physical effect’ was
        incorrectly restricted beyond what the line of prior case law contemplated.

I ran the second argument with more force than the first one. The (all deleted because I was taught that if you can’t say anything nice...) that marked mine had a PHD on the subject and written papers on the first line of argument.  That is all well and good but he clearly glanced over my paper, it did not fit with what he wanted so gave a truly insulting mark.  The criteria sheet had the ‘no relevant cases cited’ circled but then in the generic feedback the cases given were the same ones. 

I accept the paper had flaws, that is fine but wow! The criteria also stated something along the lines of ‘of a postgraduate level’... hmm ...I think an undergraduate subject marked on postgraduate criteria is fundamentally wrong.
So yeah, having that formally reviewed.  As a part of the process we have to give reasons why it should be reviewed so I have systematically gone through both the ‘inadequate’ criteria circled and ‘sound’ thresholds and applied them (another useful tool of law school is clearly IRAC). 

That mark knocked me for a six, but then I thought about it some more and came the conclusion that no, I am not an idiot, I researched and thought about the line of argument, applied the law and came to a conclusion. Not playing the game of pandering to the academics should not result in such a penalty.  In any even my reasons may just be the most beautifully written thing ever to come from my keyboard. I will keep you posted on what the re-mark result is.

I got a fairly large whack of study done on the 24 hour road trip to the middle of nowhere which was nice.  I am not as prepared for exams as I would like to be but I should be ready for them by the time they come around. 

I am off to Europe the day after my last exam, in under a week. I am not excited about this yet, probably because I have three exams to get through first.  The flights were booked about eight months ago and a Justice subject exam fell right on the day we leave.  I asked the Justice school to take the exam early or later but was met with an email to the effect of ‘tough titties’.  Thankfully I was able to drop the subject without academic penalty. However this means I have to take 6 subjects next semester to still be on track for an early graduation. 

The Justice school is adding to my feelings of ‘fuck it’ in general.

Another factor adding to my head space is actually working in the field and doing pretty well, I am being given more and more responsibility and doing a pretty good job of it. 

I accept I am not ready to be a lawyer yet but seeing the huge gap between what is taught and what how it actually works in the real world quite saddening. On the bright side I can see the tools law school is imparting as essential such as:

1.    Research skills;
2.    Drafting;
3.    Application of the law;
4.    Reasoning; and
5.    Identification of a legal issue and the place to start the research.

Time to go turn my notes into something I can use. – Obiter

Just can’t seem to muster the requisite energy to get into study again. It is the pointy end of semester, well getting close to. The last two weeks have been consumed with running the Junior and Senior moots which result in an average of 5 hours sleep a night, this is because I am at uni with the other two people running the moot until late in the evening putting scores in order and sending emails. Thursday was the last moot for the semester (thank goodness) after attending the after party where there were many free drinks to be had, went home and proceeded to make up at 4pm the following day.


Like a post by Marlowe, running comps can be an epic and thankless task. Students don’t really understand the amount of work and organisation that goes into running these events. They pull out last minute, whinge when they don’t win, fail to read the question and/or do not do the question justice. For the love of Lord Denning, if you are going to moot, read a book about how to moot at the minimum and save yourself the shame of looking like a tool.

Study has had to take a back seat to running the comps for the last few weeks and I am caught in that god awful ‘how the F*ck do I catch up?’ head space. The family is going to the middle of nowhere Australia (Dubbo) for my Nan’s 80th? birthday, I signed on to this 28 hour round trip exercise in boredom with the hope of taking nothing but IP law to read and catch up on. Yet still I think playing I-Spy with my 22 year old younger brother may win out..

By some strange stroke of luck at work I have been given a very, very interesting personal injury file to work on from the ground up. It involves expired time limits which could be extended, vicarious/non-delegable duty/ strict liability facts that not even the High Court can agree on in a similar fact scenario. The solicitor told Counsel about the facts and the response was to the effect of ‘forget it, you don’t really have an action’. I was pretty bummed out about that as I had spent a great deal of my weekend reading, researching and thinking about this case. I went to the solicitor and explained what I thought we could do and was met with a ‘you’re a clever little fu*cker aren’t you’. Made my week because I most definitely do not consider myself to be clever.

Being given ownership of this file confirms, for me, that I made the right decision in not applying for clerkships and staying where I am.

That ‘oh shit’ moment. Part of my job is putting together the briefs for Counsel, this only sounds interesting (for those not yet in the field). What it actually entails is hours of compiling, alphabetising and tabbing all the evidence to go to trial. Not in any way stimulating, however it does give you an understanding of what is going on. I was handed what I thought was the one matter and proceeded to spend 3 hours putting it together only to find out it was actually for two matters. That seriously messed up my day. However, even when I am having a crappy day at work I remind myself I could be peeling onions and mopping floors, perspective is a wonderful thing.

Well Hello! No, not I am not dead, just run off my feet. Between being one of three people running all the internal law student competitions for the year, working three days and study (with Surivelaw in the mix) I have very, very little time to do anything else! On the bright side I have handed in most of my written assessment for the semester giving me time to blog YAY! At one point I had 7,500 words due over a 6 day period. That reduced me to an over caffeinated blubbering mess... Work is still pretty amazing, recently I had to do an application in the District Court that even my managing solicitor was a bit nervous about but it came off nicely. It seems the ‘easy’ matters are always the ones that get very complicated and the ‘difficult’ matters turn out to be a dream. I have an excellent phone manner, after years of working in sales it is second nature to ask ‘how is your day shaping up’ to start a phone call and banter about how things are busy blah, blah, blah ensues. However this one Police Prosecutor took a bite out of my for doing just that with words to the effect of ‘how dare you ask you rude, arrogant person’ then continued to chew me out. By the end of the call I had her on more or less ‘good’ ground and asked ‘what would make your day better?’ apparently a coffee and chocolate would fix whatever her issue was. So, I found a legitimate reason to go up to the head quarters and lo and behold gave her a coffee and block of chocolate. It went down rather well, however there was a very real possibility I was going to end up wearing the coffee and waddling out with a block of chocolate up my bottom. Off to collate scores for the Senior Moot , YAY! – Obiter

Meet the profession AKA an exercise in self-degradation

In the midst of doing some highly productive study for evidence I have decided to put a stop to such momentum and blog.

Recently I attended a ‘Meet the profession’ evening being held by the Law Student Society. As a member of the society I was more or less obliged to part with the $40 and schmooze/brown nose at the event. Maybe it is 4 years of law school which has made me more than a little cynical about such events or maybe in past careers I have had to build a business with actual networking not a contrived and sterile event that leaves me feeling like I wasted my time.

Firstly I must qualify the above statement by telling you that I can see some benefit to attending the event, but only if you are looking for an insight into what it is to work at various firms, and even then to take what you are told with a grain of salt.

The evening starts with various people with either blue name cards (who are the ‘profession’) or white ones (who are the ‘students’) milling around awkwardly, however as the free wine and beer took its hold things got a touch more loose and social. Law students seem to be a desperate bunch, with each one of us trying everything we can to make sure we are not still working at a fast food joint or retail outlet once we have our law degrees. The students then start trying to ‘make an impression’ on these lawyers, however after a little digging it became apparent many of the lawyers were recent graduate who would hold little or no ‘pull’ come application time. I found this game to be depressing and hardened my resolve to be my own boss.

It is about this time of year applications for clerkships open and close, it’s a cruel game where students apply to as many firms as they can ‘tailoring’ each cover letter to the firm to make it sound like they handpicked the firm to apply to because they really wanted to work at ‘Medium to Small Not Very Interesting Firm’. The clerkship game makes me feel ill. Not because of all the work being put into it with the slim to tiny chance of getting a clerkship where you will then be pitted against 15 other clerks all vying for the same 2 positions. No, it is because we are reducing ourselves to begging for the opportunity to put into practice what we have been killing ourselves studying to do.

Instead of walking out of the evening feeling like I had met key people I want to form a close professional relationship in that they may ‘put in a good word’ for an application. To me it was a law version of the Hunger Games. (stop sniggering at my poor, pop trash taste in books)

I am also very aware I am in the privileged position to go to such an event with no view of networking because I have an excellent job I will very happily stay at once I graduate.

Now to regain that momentum I lost. – Obiter

On being in court as a Clerk

I am sure we all think things we would never, ever say. I often do, but recently I have had this fear the filter between my brain and mouth will fail. It started with the little things such like when doing Jessup the judges are addressed at ‘Your Excellency’ where in the real courts in Australia they are addressed as ‘Your Honour’. More than once while addressing a Magistrates ‘You Excellency’ has almost fallen out of my mouth, it came out like your ‘Exel-Onour’, pretty sure I am the only one that noticed but still.. Then there is this very particular way of talking to a judge, all too formal and full of wankery I am yet to wrap my head around.

A fair whack of my job is sitting in court waiting for all the barristers and solicitors to be called on to have their matter mentioned and subsequently moved through the criminal court process before the clerks. This can mean sitting in a court from 9:00 to about 11:00 or 12:00 before my file is called. Usually what I need to say is along the lines of:

‘Good morning Your Honour. For the record my name is Ovum spelt O V U M initials O a law clerk for Great Firm seeking leave to appear on behalf of Ms Smith. (Magistrate gives me leave, unless it is a particular Magistrate who likes to toy with clerks and answers with a ‘Depends Mr Ovum’) ‘Your Honour, case conferencing has commenced and we are seeking an X week adjournment to allow case conferencing to continue’. They usually grant the time sought and I get to go back to the office.

When asked by a Judge weather I am aware of a particular thing on a case which I have little to no knowledge about instead of simply saying ‘I don’t know, can I make a call?’, the correct protocol is to say something to the effect of ‘my apologies Your Honour, I do not have those instructions or carriage of the matter, may I seek a adjournment so I can call the Solicitor who can give me the proper instructions,? Thank you.’

Yes it may seem simple enough but when you are expecting to say a very quick 3 lines, get given a date and that is all any deviation from what I am expecting terrifies me, especially because often have little to no idea of what is going on with the file. When they are asking a question my internal monologue is ‘shit, shit, shit, I don’t know, shit, the magistrate is going to spank me, shit’. I am constantly scared when answering I will just babble like a fool or get it wrong. Mooting has actually helped with this but wow it is still terrifying.

I thought my job was going to help with my mooting, turns out the mooting has actually helped with the real world - funny that.

Today is one of those days where you left your house/car keys at work, travel in only to realise the swipe key is also on the desk, you are also locked out of the house and nobody is home so blogging from uni and maybe a little forced study is in order.

Going to be a long, boring day – Obiter.

It never ends!

I have not posted in a while because my plate is never endingly full. Jessup finished. Left a gapping whole of empty in my previously Jessup occupied life but then work filled it. Check out the post on survivelaw.com that pretty much outlines what happened.

I am only just getting into the Law Student Society where I am a competitions director this year (I underestimated the sheer amount of work that will need to go into this). I have started to try and get through the work but every time I go to log into an account the freaking password has been changed – this is bugging the poop out of me.

Amungst this I am Torts Peer Mentoring again, but it is something I genuinely enjoy. Law school goes back on Monday, I am so not ready for it 

I am still loving my job. Many funny little stories such as almost knocking myself out with the ‘dolly’ while moving floor in the building. I have been given a desk that is mine, ALL MINE! This is kind of a big deal, since I was sharing with someone who worked organised chaos! You know the type, a thousand documents on the desk but they know where everything is. Whilst I prefer the 5 file on the desk max rule.

Also and further, I will attempt to being posting once a week (LOLS).

Jumping Jessup Stress

Jessup memorials have been handed in, I have jumped out of a plane, closed a million dollar sale, been smacked down in court and yet the adrenalin that was pumping before it was due was just as insane if not more so.

Some highlights:

It expired when?

We have access to the tea and coffee room after hours, this is a good thing as we needed to be fuelled on caffeine beyond the normal end of semester/exam period. One morning a team member said ‘this coffee tastes like dirty Windex’ this particular brand of instant coffee is actually pretty damn good, so it needed some investigating.



Note the expiry on that bad boy …. It expired TEN years ago! No wonder it tasted horrible..

Why you no smell?

When you don’t leave the law library for about 4 days people tend to get a little funky. This team has hygiene down to a fine art. I was sent for supplies that included; towels, soap, tooth brushes and paste, conditioner, and other assorted shower goodies. However, by the time we have access to the shower it was only cold water. Fun stuff, it worked out in the end as after a cold, cold shower we were all WIDE AWAKE. Showering at about 3am at the university was interesting; it felt like some twisted academic boot camp.

I AM GOING TO KILL YOU

We are generally a pretty cohesive team, when the memorials are due in 1 hour and stuff is still not started tempers and thresholds for bullshit runs a little low. I am not, I repeat NOT a violent person, however this twerp was so close to pushing me over the edge. All is good now but I will never, ever work with this person ever again.

Not over yet.

Now the oral practice beings.
Again, it feels like we are starting at the bottom of a long climb up massive mountain.

In other news (Kitchen talk)

I finally did it, three years of silently copping my head chefs bad temper and snarky attitude and I lost it. This is the moment I have been playing out in my head for years. It went almost to plan, almost. I grabbed a huge roll of plastic wrap and SLAMED it down on the bench, got it attention and (here it where it deviates from the plan) said a few coherent words to the effect of ‘enough, stop acting like a child, enough throwing pans, fucking grow up’ then I started making sounds miming out the his bad attitude… yup any effect I had at that point was lost as I looked like a crazy person who had lost his mind. Smooth.

However I did save my dignity as a person afterwards, when he asked if ‘everything is all good’ I told him, in a calm even tone how this was not a onetime offence, his behaviour is grossly out of line and it affects everyone in the kitchen and to check himself.  There is much more to it but this is a law blog not a ‘I hate hospitality’ page.


Back to the wondrous fun that is Jessup (this is a lie, I am lying. There is nothing wondrous about this competition)

Also. Mr Ovum came out. Things went O.K not badly, not well either. The Mother is the issue, but she will come around in time.

Jumping Jessup

Jessup owns me

If I am not in the library working on the migraine that is Jessup I am at home thinking about how I should be at uni working on Jessup. Even my dreams have been pervaded with dreams of pleading tables, international law and how grossly under prepared we are.

Uni Results were released, I passed… just, actually 2/3rds of the year failed trusts but then they bell curved it and I only passed by 1%. That freaked me out quite a bit, usually I get great marks but this was a terrible experience I never want to repeat.

I know where I went wrong, I assisted in court for a few weeks full time in the pointy end of semester and worked extra days through SWOTVAC (because I was asked to). However I don’t think I would change it, the actual hands on experience was worth it.

My pitiful marks:

Trusts: Pass

Property B: Pass

Policing diversity: Pass

Crime Prevention: Credit

WTF! A credit for crime prevention? Two assessments where all I did was 2 days before it was due was look at the power points briefly, check the criteria sheet and then start bullshitting… what a joke.

Christmas was good, until I went to Mr. Ovums house and was introduced as the ‘house mate’, four years and they still don’t know, they should but they honestly don’t. Mr. Ovum plans to tell them in the next few days that should be interesting to say the least…

I have been voted onto the Law Student Society as a competitions director for 2012, if nothing else it should be lots of fun. Out of 40 something votes I got 30 something. All the people vying for the position got up and spoke for 2 minutes on why they should be elected. I had nothing prepared (why so surprised?) spoke about how much I enjoy mooting and how this excitement would come through in how I went about by position. It worked.

I find all the good things that have been happening to me a touch funny, you see these things were never supposed to happen, not to me. I am not a stellar student, I procrastinate and never sew myself being ‘one of those students’ but here I am. Trying to keep it together and not have it all blow up in my face in a spectacular manner.

Back to the mind rape that is Jessup – Obiter