Maybe I just need some sleep...

My default attitude is happy and optimistic, right now, not so much.

I am only in year 2 of 5.5 so I have a while to go before I get to honestly stress out about where my career will take me. However I have goals, I hate not reaching goals.

The reason I am in law school is because ultimately it is a skill that people will pay for. As a salesman I would often work very, very hard for a client and have it all blow up in my face "oh, sorry XYZ firm had a better product, I am not ready to go any further right now, I just want to think about it" all common objections that I would often be able to work around. I am not a 'gun' sales person, however I have great at building rapport and relationships. Still you can put hours and hours into a deal only for it to go nowhere. With legal skills they pay you for a knowledge they don't have/abilities they don't have the training for. Early in my working life I discovered a deep seated dislike of working for others, hard work to make some other person wealthy. I hated it.

Being realistic, I understand I will have to put some time in to working for a firm before starting my own. Its that small period that gives me the shivers. I am not a brilliant,top achieving student. I am a credit student, and I hear stories about the 6.7 GPA (.3 from the very top) not getting jobs, or the 5.5 student still working in the place they were when at uni. It scares me. If I am not a brilliant student should I really be considering opening my own? All these questions I am so uncertain about.

'Your going to spend 5.5 years of your life for nothing' is going through my head a lot recently. I am sure it will pass. Over the summer I have an unpaid clerkship lined up, more than most of my cohort I guess. Next year I go back to 50% law 50% other degree, that will be good for my mental health.

Taking a nap in the hope of waking up with a better attitude - Obiter