Tuesday, December 21, 2010


Are you an Aussie? - Do it, you know you should. Unless you spent the last 10 years as a little nipper then a Life Saver, DO IT!

Not an Aussie? Should you ever find yourself here on one of our beautiful coasts, SWIM BETWEEN THE RED AND YELLOW FLAGS!!! These mark the patrolled area of the beaches, should you find yourself drowning, in a rip, not able to get back to shore these wonderfull trained surf professionals will be there to help. No Flags = No Swim.

Today at the beach some silly woman went out too far in an un patrolled and almost got smashed against some rocks. Why? becusase she was not swimming between the FLAGS!

Do it peole, DOOO IT!!

Sunday, December 12, 2010

This is supposed to be a relaxing time of year

Working 60 hours a week means weekly blogging takes a back seat.

LCO: I am bumbling through the work. One moment I am reading a text book for next year because I have nothing to do and the next I am bombarded with so much that I know so little about. I seem to be doing O.K I noticed a letter I drafted about IP was sent to the client with the solicitors name on it, so I guess I am not a total waste of office space. Curls offered me a paid position in the new year, I suspect it will pay so little that it won't make financial sense to take it on but here's hoping!

Most of the tasks I have been given have been law related or procedure related, at the moment I am all too happy to give anything a shot and I seem to find the right track and get an answer, except last Wednesday when Glummy (this guy has been around so long he saw Australia declared as 'Settled' ) gave me something to do...

The task was researching the procedure taken to create a subordinate legislative instrument, not too difficult right? 'When was XZY S.L Gazetted?' the parent statute set 0ut that any S.L must be Gazetted...in the Gazette. The Definitions set out 'Gazette' to mean ' The Gazette' not helpful. So after an hour or so searching and getting nowhere I went to another Clerk and still no result, then I went to the Himbo (graduated but not yet admitted) but still no success or even a point in the right direction. After another hour of fruitless searching, file in hand I went back to Glummy, when I explained the issue and asked for a hint he looked at me like I kick small animals for the fun of it. Asshole. I still don't know where to find the Gazette - this bugs me immensely.

Marks came out..

Contracts B - Distinction
Torts B - Distinction
Crim B - Credit
Foundations B - Credit

Overall I am pretty stoked about my marks, especially since I never stepped inside a lecture theatre (lectures are pod casted) and they were better than last semesters.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

I have traded due dates for deadlines

So LCO does not suck. In fact I kinda like it.

The people:

Generally a good bunch of people. I am still quite shy and quiet (that will change), so there is not heaps of interaction. They find the partner signing off Y.S instead of Yours Sincerely an absolute RIOT, if this is what your sense of humor is reduced to after law school I am not sure I will last long in the industry. I am starting to work out who to skive work off and who to avoid like the plague 'there is a man, that man has a cat, find me the neighbours brothers dog,' - I looked at Curls and asked if that was it, apparently it was. Uh Huh.

Pretty sure the universe does not want me there, or at the very least wants to make it as freaking hard a possible. I am a grub, not intentionally dirt just launches at me. Because of this I know that I should get changed into nice clothes as close to the moment I walk in the office as I can. I drove to the office nice and early, about 2 hours early. When time to get changed rolled around I want to a gazebo like thing in a park and changed my shirt, on the way out I missed a step. My right ankle snapped. The language I used would have made a sailor blush. My foot ballooned into my shoe, but like a trooper I just hobbled my broken ass into the office and tried to look enthusiastic instead of putting it up on ice and staying off it. Thank goodness it was not broken or fractured (I hope it is not fractured). I can thank years of working on a kitchen where if you are injured there is a few hard and fast rules.

Is it bleeding?

Yes - Put a bandage on it, put a glove on the bandage. Get back to work.
No - What are you whinging about. Get back to work.

A few weeks ago I mentioned to Mr. Ovum that I can't wait to work in an office where there is less chance of doing serious injury to myself. Then the optimist that he is Mr. Ovum pointed out "yeah, but knowing you, you will spill your coffee over very important original documents". A very good point. My office cup is a travel mug, you know, a sippy cup for grown ups.

My car is a total B O M B, so I have to leave for work really, really early. It is so early my car is the only one on the road that is not a ute. It is kinda sad that I am up with the tradies, however I have my morning routine down to a fine art now. Everything is ready to go, the coffee and sugar is in the travel mug, bag is packed, lunch is made and clothes are ironed and all on the one hook. I have even gotten to the point where I have sewn little loops of thread on the inside of my socks so than when they are rolled up with my unides I can hang them on the coat hanger to. That is how much I hate mornings.

Tomorrow I have LCO followed by a shift at the Cackle Berry, I hate Christmas in hospitality - Obiter

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Scotch and Coke STAT!!

I survived 1L law. There were tears, tantrums, hissy fits, bouts of depression and massive highs. My last exam was a few days ago but I had to go straight to work afterwards and then for the next two days more hellish work (this time of year sucks as a chef).

After the last exam there were no fire works, no streamers came down at the end of the exam, no wild wooting and 'yee haaas' we all just filed out somber and a little dazed. So here is how it went.

Foundations B:

Yup, this subject is shit. What I mean by that is, a computer biased course does not lend it's self well to a paper exam. If I thought that printing 'print screens' of all the legal databases was going to help I would have. Stupid freaking exam. I think I did OK though. It is beyond me why they don't just give you 2 hours in a computer lab with social media restrictions enabled. Grrr.

Contracts B:

Meh, I think I did alright. My exam prep was a little off, I planned for 3 questions not 2, big difference in exam preparation method.

I get my marks on the 29th, this time I think I will try and withhold from obsessively checking the blackboard until then (yeah, as if).

So, on Tuesday I start at the firm for three days a week unpaid work experience, from henceforth it will be known as 'Lucifer's Corner Office'. I am not overly thrilled about starting, has allot to do with the no payment bit, hopefully it will put me in a better position for a paid placement next year.

Somethings I plan to post about over the holidays:

- A prayer for law students pre exam (don't freak out, it will be tongue in cheek)
- All about Lucifer's Corner Office
- No doubt I will need to vent about the stupidity that is the Cackle Berry over Christmas.

I have some serious drinking to do - Obiter

Friday, November 5, 2010

I finally added this fantastic blog, the author frequently leaves comments which I love. Every time I go to do the same on his, the content is funny, informative and interesting, so interesting I go to check it out and forget to comment. Sorry bout that.

Also added is Survive Law School, if the content is not making me laugh it probably given me something to think about (procrastinate with). They should post more. That simple.

In other news:

You got to be freaking kidding me?!

After getting home from 9 hours in kitchen Mr. Ovum jumps on me and informs me that he/we are moving to London for 2012. There are a number or problems with this, namely financial (on my part, I am student. I think he forgets that I am not on the 65k a year he is). Even if by some miracle it does happen it would effectively be like this year all over again as a 1L but worse. Yes the Australian system is a CL system, yes it was only in 1986 appeals to the Privy Council were ended, yes many watershed decisions are English cases. I still think it would be worse because in the subjects I would have to take to keep my graduation date on track there will be assumed knowledge of the law, law different to the one I am learning in. If I can make it happen $$ I will go no doubt, but wow what a scary concept.

Half way there.

Torts and Crim B exams done.

Crim: I walked out of that exam shaking with anger, fear, hate and without my sense of humor. All I want is a 51% overall. I do not want to go through that again. Did not help that I was busting for 70% of it. I tried to find the gents before the exam but the whole building seemed to only have ladies. Furious. On top of that I spent 5 minutes too long on the first two questions, at some points I heard people shuffling paper and I thought 'can't be that time, they must just be looking for a section in the code'. Wrong. I was 10 minutes short on the last question, epic fuck up.

Torts: :-D Issues were crystal clear, timing was perfect, notes worked really well. I walked out with a smile from ear to ear, most people did. Almost made the Crim exam less depressing.

Check out Bubbl.us

This is making a birds eye view of contract termination issues really easy - loving it so much righ this second.

Yay for 6 days left! - Obiter

Monday, October 25, 2010

Exam time, but I have Sea Monkeys!

My first exam is in 6 days. Followed by another, then a 5 day (three of which I am working) break before the last 2.

So here is my head space for the subjects.

Crim B:
The last few days have been entirely devoted to outlining and doing Q&A book questions, I stand a fair chance of passing. Beyond that, I have no idea where I stand. If nothing else my outline and the text book have lots of pretty tabs. The more pretty tabs the better the chance of survival right? Does anybody else compare themselves to others against the style, amount and aesthetics of their tabbed out text books?

Foundations B:
NOT a substantive law subject. Legal research and writing class. I think some marks were lost in this subject because I only attended 60% of the classes. In my defense it was an hour and half of being walked though databases. In the computer labs there is a massive mix of computer literacy, some people fall behind and others sit there board out of their skull (aka ME). This should be a competency based class, set the tasks, when you reach the tasks get them signed off and go. On the flip side, the skills developed are very useful. I have an interest in employment law, more specifically how sexual orientation in a church biased institution will impact on employment if the orientation were to become public. With the skills developed in Foundations B, I can now to some point research and find an answer (from what I am finding, she/he could very well lose their job, irregardless of discrimination statute). Applying what we were learning to something outside the tute work has resulted in a deeper understanding of the principals/skills I think I will do O.K.

Torts B:
I love torts. Even when there are no clear cut rules (see, novel DOC) arguing by analogy makes it fun to try. I guess we will see.

Contracts B:
So this semester contracts did not have me weeping like a school girl who was just told she is fat by her BFF like it did last semester. The tutor for this class is AMAZING. I am not over confident about this subject, but I am not terrified of it either.

Overall I am not as far behind as I thought I was, thank goodness.

Sea-Monkeys, I have a very long history with them. They make me very, very happy. My close friend gave me some. As I said in the last post, get them where you find them.

The finish line is in sight! (for this year anyway) - Obiter

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Take your jollies where you can find them

It's all about getting your happy points where you can find them.

On my last post I mentioned just how much I love my calender, it is not a fancy printed one, it is an A4 piece of paper with numbers on it. It makes me happy.

My Nan sent me some cash for my impending birthday. I feel guilty that she sends me money, as a pensioner money is tight, especally with 6 grand kids and 6 great grand kinds. I am almost 24 (31st Oct) But that is niether here nor there.

For the last few weeks people have been asking ' what would you like for your birthday?' and my answer has been 'a cork or white board'. Nobody takes this seriously. So thanks Nan!

I am a bit bummed out about by birthday this year, it is the day before a massive exam. The week before and the day of will be consumed with torts and crim study, so no socailizing for me :-( BUT NOW I HAVE A CORK BOARD!!! So it's not so bad.

Getting em, where I can - Obiter
p.s see the book prop? best $15 ever spent.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Eye of the storm

No hand in assessment left, only 4 tutes to go before there are no classes.
For the most part each week I do all the work needed for the tute on that subject, sometimes I outline, sometimes I don't. Now I am feeling a little overwhelmed.

When I think about what I need to know for each subject (running through the topics taught each week) I start to freak myself out, partly because I can't remember the topics for each subject, partly when I realise the topics I do know, what I understand if them is mostly surface stuff. Not enough to put a coherent answer on an exam. I am probably a bad law student.

looking back this semester has not been the total shit fight that first semester was, is this because the learning curve has evened out, better time management or a year of all law subjects has left me empty and unable to care as much? Probably a combination of all these factors.

Today I found out one of my Other Degree friends has moved into Law, I am so excited for her! I recall the day I received my letter and was over the moon, I got into all the blogs and did as much pre-reading before the semester began. I would sit in the law library and be in a type of awe over the law students, it was a club I wanted to be in. That is still there to a point but it is fading rapidly I was all excited about the prospect of 'being one of them'. For me moving into law was a very scary thing, as I am sure it will be for her, I had nobody who was ahead of me to give help and advice, to listen to, who understood what I was going through, most importantly to share notes with! I am going to do my best to be the person she can lean on when it feels like it is all coming down around her (as it seems to do).
Over my desk area (right next to the kitchen in the living room - this is cruel thing to do to a chef, should any inkling of the need to procrastinate arise I am in the kitchen because it is just so close!) I have an A4 piece of paper with about four months worth of days colour coded for each week (rent and non rent) with tiny notes of the important things for that day, such as when assessment is due, on a post it note tacked onto the paper is a daily to do list. I am only allowed to cross off each day when the 'do to list' has been completed. Working with instead of against my quirks (I will write 'write to do list' on the list, just to cross it off) is probably the only way I have managed to survive this year.

I am off to pickle my yoke in wine, then knock out an outline answer for pure economic loss caused by builders - Yay for me - Obiter

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Maybe I just need some sleep...

My default attitude is happy and optimistic, right now, not so much.

I am only in year 2 of 5.5 so I have a while to go before I get to honestly stress out about where my career will take me. However I have goals, I hate not reaching goals.

The reason I am in law school is because ultimately it is a skill that people will pay for. As a salesman I would often work very, very hard for a client and have it all blow up in my face "oh, sorry XYZ firm had a better product, I am not ready to go any further right now, I just want to think about it" all common objections that I would often be able to work around. I am not a 'gun' sales person, however I have great at building rapport and relationships. Still you can put hours and hours into a deal only for it to go nowhere. With legal skills they pay you for a knowledge they don't have/abilities they don't have the training for. Early in my working life I discovered a deep seated dislike of working for others, hard work to make some other person wealthy. I hated it.

Being realistic, I understand I will have to put some time in to working for a firm before starting my own. Its that small period that gives me the shivers. I am not a brilliant,top achieving student. I am a credit student, and I hear stories about the 6.7 GPA (.3 from the very top) not getting jobs, or the 5.5 student still working in the place they were when at uni. It scares me. If I am not a brilliant student should I really be considering opening my own? All these questions I am so uncertain about.

'Your going to spend 5.5 years of your life for nothing' is going through my head a lot recently. I am sure it will pass. Over the summer I have an unpaid clerkship lined up, more than most of my cohort I guess. Next year I go back to 50% law 50% other degree, that will be good for my mental health.

Taking a nap in the hope of waking up with a better attitude - Obiter

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Umbrella's messed up my day, in a big way

Tall people + short people with umbrella's = DANGER, DANGER.

When I looked out the window the sun shining, puppies frolicking and kittens playing. I thought it would be safe to go to uni in sandals (the city is a slippery hazard in sandals when wet). I stepped off the bus and the heavens opened up and the umbrellas came out. I am not freaky tall at 6'3 but tall enough for my eyes to be in real danger of low hanging umbrella's.

Half way to uni some little lady decided to swing her umbrella in my direction, to avoid my eye being stuck out I tried to duck. In the rain, in my sandals. I went ass over head, with my laptop in by backpack. Its all broken *really, really sad face*.

At least I got a high distinction to even out my day.

Have a nice scotch now, goon was just not going to cut it after today - Obiter

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Down hill dip - before the upswing

It's almost over, only two pieces of assessment left before exams (then the crazy will re-commence).

This week as has been an epic pain in the ass, two massive pieces of assessment and full time work on top of the usual study load, I think I was sick at some point but mind over matter. The only outward sign of illness was losing half my body weight in snot (pretty image yes?). Now a weekend at the beach for Mr. Ovums birthday, alternating between swimming and clobbering myself with the criminal code.

Criminal Advocacy:
On the facts provided my 'client' was screwed, no amount of clicking his heels saying 'there is no place like home' should have kept him out of mental health court. He was a nut case. However I manged to find some obscure case that might help, even the law librarian was stumped as to how to find it, after about half an hour and a few phone calls we got it. A saving grace, while my 'client' would probably have gone to the funny farm court to be on the safe side I think I did a darn good job of the advocacy. One of the judges from the moot court last month complemented me on it (best part of that day). Very pleased with myself right now.

Torts Memo:
The study group split in half became our group for the assessment, we all pulled our weight and worked well together. One of the first positive group work experiences I have had at uni so far.

The 'I want it, I want it, I want it, job':
Survive law school website published an opening for a unique law firm calling for a summer clerk. The catch was the application had to be in creative form. As I like to punish myself I set myself a deadline of a week before applications close because otherwise I would spend the next two weeks doing it, time I have so little of. Part of the application was a hard cover notebook covered in macaroni called the 'mac'book, at the post office the counter lady took bubble wrapping to a whole new form of art, I hope it makes it down in one piece.

Like when you buy a lotto ticket I can now fantasise about the 'dream job' until I hear otherwise (or a massive amount of time lapses without hearing anything). I included this blog as part of the application. I feel good about it one moment and really bad about it the next, not sure if it will work for or against me (see epic inability to proof read before pressing the 'publish' button). Only time will tell.

I want to be like a shark and have the ability to sleep with one half of my brain at a time - Obiter

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Law Ball

The Advocacy is due in 5 days, I have not started it yet. I am in the death grip of procrastination.

I am not usually a procrastinator, often things are done at least a few days before they are due to allow for polishing ect, but this time I am bunt out. Alarm was set for 7:00am to get a start on it before leaving for work, but I woke up at 11:00am so that wont be happening..maybe tonight?

About the law ball.

What I read on the invite: Mad hatters party, get dressed up and spend a fortune on a costume.

What it actually said: Mad hatters ball, not fancy dress (but if you really want to you can).

I saw my mistake the morning before the ball, too late. A friends little sister is a artist/make up artist so I commissioned a hat and make up, this coast about 1.5 x the cost of the ticket. There was no way I was not going dressed up.

When I arrived to my relief their was an Alice and a Queen of Hearts and a few top hats floating around, so I was not totally out of place. Unfortunately all the people I know who said they were going did not show up, after wondering around drinking for an hour or so it hit me 'people are going to notice the 'Mad Hatter' has no friends...LONER'. It was about this time I discovered the 'power of the hat' I randomly chose some guys that were in my crim class last semester, Preppy Douche Bag and Co. I know I am a shameless hypocrite - Like I care. It ended up being a blast, the bar tab did not dry up and the after party was a riot. I discovered I make an awesome 'wing man' to be fair it was mostly the power of the hat. However before my eyesight went to crap did make a few observations.

Cigars: There was a group of about 5 guys smoking cigars, rolling them in their mouths and generally being pretentious... really...later in the evening I think I may have mentioned to them that was a pretty 'toolific' thing to do. Yes I have no tact - Like I care.

State schools: The conversation eventually got to 'what school did you go to?' the general reply was "grammar, all boys X, all girls X, or some other pretentious school' when the question was directed to me my initial response was (this is a total defence mechanism) 'lets not talk about that, what does it matter anyway?) after more grilling I divulged the dingy state school where nobody can get expelled as it was the last school that would take anyone. I actually got met with disapproving looks... twats, I managed to twist some humor into it but seriously what a twatty thing to do.

Girls got trashy: Like wow, trashy. When I got sick of the 'do you have a girl friend?, so whats the name of your girl friend?' crap I let out I was gay and have had a partner for three years (*gay math 1o1: three years in our world is a big deal, about 6 year equivalent for straight couples). That was met with such acceptance that it made my heart fill with hope for the future.

Gay conversation: I tend not to let on about that aspect of my personal life mostly because it does not define me AND when I do, the conversation tends to center around it for quite some time or comes back to it often, and I hate that. I would very much like to have a phamplett that reads 'So you have met a real live gay person, things you would like to know'. The other part of that is once is gets around I get questions like "Oooh I have always wanted a gay friend, will you be our friend?' I shit you not, people ask this. We are not collectors items, get lost. When I am in the right mood the response could be to the effect of "and I always wanted a skanky bimbo, lets go shopping!'

Did I really just do that?: the moot court judges from a few weeks ago were students, who were there. At the after party I took it upon myself to grill one of them...yep no shame(probably the state school in me comming out), I think I got away with it because of the hat.

All in all it was a ... ball... yep I just took the low road to humor. - Obiter

Sunday, September 5, 2010

What is stress and pressure?

Stress and pressure is:

1 x Client File
1 x Research log
2 x Client Memo
1 x Advocasy
1 x Criminal back up

All due in the next two weeks. I would be on edge as it is with all that due, but to top it off, Mr. Ovum wants to go away for three days for his birthday. I have had to shuffle my working days to get the weekend off, this means on the week most of the stuff is due I am working full time. Last semester I took time off and it finacially screwed me, unlike most of my fellow students, I am not getting a cent of help from the government (who recognise gay couples only so far as to not entitle us to help if we are de'facto - thanks..) so I have to support myself 100%. I have family commitments thown in there as well. I am on the verge of a melt down..

On the other hand I went to the law ball... I promise to blog ALL ABOUT THAT later (some twats were honest to god smoking cigars and gwaffling)

Feel like I have been micowaved - Obiter

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Yeah.. well, I think your a princess...

The heat is on and my patience has run away with my mind.

In 20 days I have 5 pieces of assessment due, does not sound too bad.. but on top of normal classes, 25-30 hours a week of crumbing schnitzels, the law ball, maintaining a relationship and everything else, there is not much time left to play house keeper.

I use the kitchen, quite a bit. I am also the only one who cleans the kitchen up after everyone else. The last few days there has been no time. The flat mate who we will call Princess Bambi as he is the stereotype of gay that many people believe gay men are* (clean and neat freaks, this guy uses a saucer when he has his herbal tea...wtf), is throwing little bitch fits. I apologised for the messy kitchen and all I got was a filthy look...

I wanted to scream the following:

When did you last scrub the shower - never
Clean the toilet - never
Sweep/vacuum the floors - once... 5 months ago!
Mop the floors - NEVER!
Who cleans every inch of this house because you and Mr. Ovum are lazy and think that all the mess is made by anyone but yourselves? ME!!

Give me a *&^ing break you little twat (bring on the google hits).

Yes in the time I took to write this blog I could have washed a dish or two someone else dirtied, but that does not give me the same satisfaction as this little rant has.

limiting the cutlery, glasses and dishes to one of each - Obiter

* Princess Bambi is an ex-dancer, is about 5ft nothing, has a serious superiority compelx and a nasty attitude.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Puberty v Law School

I have been in a funk since losing the moot, I poured my heart and soul into it. Only to lose. Now I am mostly over it, it was an experience and I am glad I did it.

It got me to thinking about how this experience has been a lot like puberty, so here is my comparisons:

Procreation / Understanding

Puberty: Every waking moment you think of getting some, even if your not yo will say you are.
LW: You spend most of every day trying to wrap your head around something, when you speak to other students, you mostly pretend to others that 'yeah, I can cite the test for using extrinsic material off the top of my head..

Hormone fulled mood swings / Stress induced fits of rage

Puberty: Your right, they are all tools who just don't understand you. You go cry about it, but you will get over it at the next injustice you suffer through.

LS: Your tired, your over caffeinated all you want to do is sleep, but shit is due tomorrow and you don't get it. So you lash out at those that love you (see rice fight). Every. little. thing. pisses you off.

Awkward moments

Puberty: Guys, you know what I am talking about. I figure girls have at least one repeating moment.

LS: Even being called upon and babbling does not compare to above.

Who wins? at least the worst of puberty is over in a couple of years, law school is going to last 5.5 years....

At least my voice will only break once- Obiter

Monday, August 23, 2010

There are two ways to look at this:

Losing my first competition moot court can lead to two conclusions

1: It was a complete waste of a week, I am now behind on eveything becuase of the time and effort I devoted to the moot.


2: I now know what I need to imporve on for the next one (it was very, very close. the judges took 15 minutes to work out who should win), losing could give me the motivation to really ace it next time. Feedback included:

- I talk too fast (I swear, I have been told this since I could talk, I am on this earth to learn how to slow down)
- More structure to the arguement
- I have a great 'court' voice...wtf?
- I make good eye contact
- Don't read off a script

I can't choose, it is still to fresh in my mind that I lost and apparently I hate losing...

Now to do the neglected torts, contracts, foundations and crim work (was it really worth it?) - Obiter

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Sleep is for...

Sleep is for the weak and uncafinated.

I have 3 days left before moot court, assessments are due soon too. There is also the butt load of weekly work to do. I have been averaging about four hours sleep a night for the last week.

Going to go sue Goldie Locks for trespasss - Obiter

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

How Embarassment.

The universe likes to mess with me.

This is how yesterday went.

8:30: Get up, make coffee and calm nerves about interview

10:00 Get to work (the interview was to be held at my workplace)

10:01 Boss 'I did not tell you the interview is tomorrow now, did I?'

No you did not.... To his credit, he then jumped on the phone and organised for us to drive to their office, in a about 2 hours. It was a small grace that I had some study with me. Boss's car is broken so we will take my car. Before people get into my car for a lift I always state "Sure no problem, on the proviso you make no comment about the state of my car" (which is not ... well it ... OK there is no rotting food and its is just paper and clothes. When you are the only person who cleans up after 2 others somethings gotta give).

10:20 My black shoes which have been worn three times broke - yay for me! I can't go to the interview looking like I have hobo shoes.

11:00 After a quick drive to shops to buy new shoes (I had money on the day before pay day...this is how I suspect the universe is not just screwing me over, just messing with me)

12:00 Drive Boss and I to law firm.

I had done my research I knew what lawyers practiced in what area, I knew their names by face ect. The partners name is Curls (clearly not his real name).

12:10 Partner comes out and I shake his hand..

OO: Hi my name is Curls.. no... your Curls, my name is Obiter.. (it was only one better then babbling incoherently)

PC: ..we will get to that.

12:10-1:00 - Boss and Curls talk shop, for ages, I get introduced at some point, I think he glanced at my resume, at some point I was informed it would be unpaid work, but I was welcome on board any time I wanted to start.

I got the job, sure it will actually cost me money to get from home to there to my paying job and back but hell it's more than most first years in my position.

1:01: Curls asks for a lift to the cafe he is having lunch at, Boss told him that was fine. I blurted out the standard disclaimer....does my brain engage at all?

1:10 We walk to my car, Curls has one look and said 'Um, it's OK the cafe is just down the road'


I have enrolled in the moot court, I have under 5 days to get it together, three of those days are full time work. I normally have a class right now, but I have lost my keys (I suspect they are in the wash, which I cannot stop for another hour and a half), so I am not going anywhere. On the bright side, I now have an extra 4 hours to do the moot court work (I will attend another class on Friday).

The firm deals with chasing debts from businesses, from what I glanced off the conversations they enjoy nailing people to the wall... probably not the firm I will be working at forever.

I will kill the key fairy if she does not make those bastards reappear soon - Obiter

Friday, August 13, 2010

Where is the PANIC button?

I need to slam my head on it.

I have been working with Old Chef for two years. There is really nothing left to say, we can work a very busy night and only exchange 3 words 'behind','hot' and 'plates?'.

Smoke breaks can be awkward, 15 minutes of silence, it's a long 15 minutes.

OO: Hey, your brother is a barrister, does he need a bitch for the summer?
OC: .....?
OO: You know a dog's body for three months over the summer break.
OC: My Brother is not a lawyer....

OC: But the owners BFF is a lawyer - go ask him.
OO: Will do.

So I toddled out to the owner.

OO: I am about to shmooze you.
BOSS: Smooze away.
OO: I am looking for some work in the legal industry, I hear your friend is a solicitor.
BOSS: Take a seat.

At this point he picks up the phone, and I start to feel sick. I have no resume, I have no clothes, while Boss man is a great guy (have been working with him for three years, could get away with blue murder but I don't because he is a good guy) but not always the most proactive person. At best I was just procrastiating avoiding more knife work, I honestly was just fishing in a puddle to kill a bit of time. They make small talk and an interview is set up for Tuesday.


I am excited, nervous, and stressed out now. Looks like no contracts work will be done this weekend.

Hoping I don't turn into a boiled egg on Tuesday - Obiter

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Smug smirks and Law students

Some times I get the overwhelming desire to punch people in the face, gender holds no bars.

Let me explain.

many of the 1L's are fresh from high school, they are the bright sparks, high achievers and generally been told just how smart they are and have never experienced otherwise. Good for them. However at times the pole needs to be removed from their asses.

I had been working in the real world in a number of different industries before making it to law school, boy do I know how it feels it be dumb, dumb as dog shit dumb, failed most of high school dumb. As a consequence at times I am not so sure of my intellect and ability to comprehend things. When I do speak up it is mostly because I have carefully considered what I am going to say and how it works (to be honest this is generally restricted to uni, in social situations my mouth engages well before the brain has clucked into gear).

Twice this week I have been paired with these 'bright sparks' and twice I have made a contribution and been smirked at. Twice I have been right on the money. As I can't remove the poll and smack them in the face with it, this will have to do.

Elections are in full swing - Need to go read policy and get angry at both parties, Obiter.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

If karma was a dog, I would probably be poking it with a big stick.

On my way from the gents to the law library, I saw some guy in a suit headed towards a moot court, half of the back of his suit was tucked into his pants. I chose to say nothing, for no good reason. I help little old ladies off the bus, I help them up stairs, I don't know why I would let this guy walk to a moot court with his suit tucked into his pants.

Today I enrolled in my first moot court comp, this should be interesting..

Crim B:

I had special prep for the criminal moot court/tute a few days ago. I spent hours and hours pouring over cases and legislation (s 598(c) CC has got to be the most convoluted section I have had to read so far). By the end of it all I had pretty much come to the conclusion that I was immensely stupid for not being able to find a solid argument eitherway, the questions are normally drafted to be agurged both ways at least a little convincingly. The other guy on special prep was the legal genius from contracts, this guy turns most if not all tutes into a conversation between himself and the tutor each week. Needless to say I was worried about looking extra stupid in comparasin to this kid. Turns out, as the tutor put it 'you could drive 5 trains though this loop hole'. I not only managed to get a good grip on the issues and facts but could to a small point rebutt some of the savant like kids arguement, woohoo for me!

At the moment I feel like everything is going really well, unlike the shit fight that was first semester.

the lawschool pot is only on light simmer - Obiter

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Week 3 - yet to have an attack of the crazies

Week three is almost over, things are going really well, too well?

Torts B:

Today my tutor looked like she was fresh from a safari, I think she drinks tea, you know, she just has that 'look'.

I have somehow managed to stay on top of the readings, cases and understood the legislation, this semester I am doing my own outline. So far it has been working really well, who knew actually doing the work from scratch would be so helpful...?

Foundations B:

This semester is all about legal research and writing, not substantive law. What a relief, it frees up time for more guilt laden procrastiation.

Contracts B:

So here we are again, contracts. I loath contracts with every fiber of my being. I have a much better tutor this semester, to the point where I actually understand what she is talking about. My class is Monday morning from 9-11, my week really is all down hill from there, thats a plus.

Criminal B:

Not much to report here. This week instead of having a contract tute we had an online exercise thing, it is a series of videos followed by multichoice questions. My only isse with the videos is that they were made in the last 80's by students with thick Aussie accents (seriously we don't sound like that ... 'ay mate') and mullets.


I go there, I get paid to play with kinves, I go home.

A few days ago I downloaded (and paid for!) the new Scissor Sisters album, it freaking rocks!! Loaded with enuendo.

Any Which Way - ... no talk of commitment when I recieve your shipment ...

I have a Contracts book to slam against my shell - Obiter

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Its started again.. and I am drinking vodka and reading fiction

Week 1 = lazy me

I have stuff to do, I will do it tomorrow I PROMISE!

Foundations B work is due next Wednesday, normally I would do it the moment it was open to do, I can't be assed.

The head chef is on holidays so I get to work full time this week, as well as study. I have a rule: If you go to Uni though the day and work at night for 8 or more hours, you get the night off. That, and I started a book BEFORE the start of semester so I figure I am allowed to read it. Guilt free.

Tonight I had a run it with the new manager (I used to do his job, he is clearly crap at it) who walked into the kitchen in the middle of service and demanded a steak. I started with being nice, he just back chatted me. Now I am not an angry chef, I am a cool tempered nice guy but there are rules 1. If your in the kitchen - Do exactly what the chef tells you 2. Chef's wear the buttons, no matter where you are, your in our way (I think this is fair, a chef is a tradesman, everybody else is more or less an unskilled worker, harsh but true) 3. NEVER talk back to a chef. This new manager broke all three rules at once so I told him to 'get the fuck out of the kitchen now!'

For the first time in 11 years in hospitality got a speaking to by the owner (granted, he was clearly just going though the motions doing the 'boss' thing, pretty much telling me I was right, just to use a little more tact). The Cackle Berry is starting to get old, how long until I can work in an office?

The faster I finnish this book, the faster I can do real study - Obiter

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

School is back, Mr. Ovum has OCD..

Nothing much interesting as of yet, only had one lecture and one tute.

However, unlike last semester with the tutor who embraced the role of judge the way a 5 year old loves dress up's, this semesters tutor is a real practicing barrister. So very laid back and easy to be in the room with (seriously, last semester this lady would strike fear in the hearts of her students). Instead of making us do the 'call over' he explained what it is in the real world why and how is works, far less intimidating.

Mr. Ovum is back from Europe, in the 3 1/2 weeks he was gone I forgot how obsessive compulsive he is. I am going to trail a new method of dealing with it, I am going to pretend he really does have an undiagnosed case of OCD, and as such a mental illness can't really be helped but more understood...

Going to move the phone cord an eighth of an inch to the left - Obiter

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Homo Drama

Not a law related post, skip now if thats what your looking for. Also apologies for the vodka fuled spelling, grama and rambing, safe to say if I was telling you this there would be much slurred speach.

A breif history:

I am gay
So is Mr. Ovum
As is Mr. Ovums brother (nature not nurture damn it)
Been with Mr. Ovum for almost 3 years (like a trillion in gay years)
I am out, my family accepts Mr. Ovum as one of us (one of us, one of us, one of us)
Mr. Ovum's family have no idea..
Mr. Ovum is in Europe without me (bitter much?)
Lil Mr. Ovum just told his family

Now Mr. Ovum is ulta conservitive, when they say 'reasonable person' at law school I think 'what woud Mr. Ovum do? and scale back about three thousand points. Mr. Ovum's fsamily took it pretty bad. For years I have been telling Mr. Ovum (drunk typing takes effort herefore Mr. Ovum will be called MO). This bad reaction is likely to result in MO not telling his parents.

Why does this matter? We can't move forward in our lives together. Not that the laws regarding gay adoption in my state are not archaic enough (there is a defence of 'homophobic provocation' in the code WTF!?!) among other things without his family knowing we can only be so free to live out lives.

Lil MO beat him to the punch, he grew the balls and came out. He has been with his current boy friend for all of three minutes, and as such felt the need to come out. Meanwhile our stable relationship will be over shadowed by the second son being gay, MO's mum is/was a nurse, should she not know better?

Why does loving who you love need to be such a big freaking deal.

Thursday, July 8, 2010


I live on the 3rd story of a unit complex, it's currently being painted.

I work until late at night, so I like to sleep in.

This morning I woke up to some one on the balcony, figured it was a painter. He started to knock on the window to my room and the lounge room to get me to move my stuff (no consent, not the front door... trespass anyone..?). I am quite fine with this, they have a job to do etc.etc.

I had a cup of coffee from last night sitting on the futon arm, this is my LAST coffee cup (I have systematically broken the rest). He broke it, not a big deal, whatever.

What really got me is how he dealt with it. Picked up the pieces and launched them over the side into the garden. Wow that was brazen.

I Owe, I Owe so its off to cook I go - Obiter

Marks are out.

I have neglected to post for no other reason than I can't be assed - It's hollidays, don't judge me.


Marks are out, the day they were posted the only reason I knew about it was some girl ranting about her High Distinction on face book (this girl is nice, and she is super bright.. however at every opportunity she tells anyone who will listen about her marks and I swear her voice gets higher when she does it so more people can hear). My marks were:

Torts A = Credit
Meh, better then a Pass I guess.

Crim = Pass
I passed? really? really really?

Foundations = Credit
I did sooo much work...

Contracts = Credit
Now over all this was the highest credit, WTF, I HATE this subject, I am a smoker again because of freaking offer and acceptance.

Trip to Dubbo (Outback)

I had to do it, I am glad I did it, ecstatic it is over.

However I did learn some interesting local terms

Saddle Frigger: The country guys that come into the big smoke (yeah for them this nowhere town is the city) in their expensive country clothes (just looks like fallenett to me) big boots and belts for a night on the piss before they go back to the farm. Apparently they like to fight.

Buckle Buddy: The chicks that seek out the Saddle Friggers for a night in the hay. Need I say more?

O.K so I have a fairly woggish last name, I know how to pronounce Italian, what I don't get is how some of my relatives (who have have same last name) pronounce it Iiii-talian emphasis on the IIIIII. Seriously.

Mr. Ovum's trip to Europe

I miss my partner (insert 16yr girl old, twilight fan style emotional babble here). On the bright side I think I am getting a real Italian leather wallet woot!

I like wine. I also like comments. Leave me one. - Obiter

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Slimy Note Fiend calls again

To those of you who don't know who SNF is see here.

Yesterday he called me:

SNF: Just a quick question, is law school harder than Justice?
OB: Umm yeah.. It's law...
SNF: I am about to fail a subject by 1% so I sent an email to the unit co-ordinator teller her she marks to hard.
OB: Your Brave.

(This woman is S C A R Y, picture little old lady meets Attila the Hun)

SNF: I know, she told me I am an insolent arrogant man with limited understanding of the subject matter. I am taking this higher.
OB:... Good for you?
SNF: So is law black and white with minimal wank? What is it like

At this point I stared to tell him about contracts and the pain that is associated, I managed about 4 words.

SNF: Just the bullet points, I don't want a story.
OB: Yeah it is hard, 3x the work.

SNF: OK, I have a lawyer friend that said (I stopped listening about here)
OB: OK see ya..

The path way I used to get into law was the same as this SNF, only I am yet to fail a Justice unit (Other Degree for those who read my other incoherent ramblings). Justice and Law share one common subject Foundations A, now this subject is no walk in the park but it is by far easier than the other law subjects. The subject he is talking about is a very very liberal, go hug an indigenous type subject, I hated it but I still see the value in it. And to fail at it is kind of pathetic (1st year 1st semester basic subject). A few months ago we had another phone chat:

SNF: Hi OB, just a quick question, how many time does it take you to read a case?
OB: Sometimes once, mostly a few times, depends on the principal and who wrote the judgement.
SNF: Hmm, must be just me who only needs to read them once. See ya.

SNF IS an arrogant, obnoxious, rude pest.

I do hope he gets into law, and gets accepted at the bar if only for one selfish reason, I would love come up against him in court, it would be so, so, so, much fun.

I have to pack, tomorrow I am travelling to the outback to see family. Lucky me... - Obiter

Friday, June 18, 2010

Holliday rant

I am about to finnish another of Anne Rice's wonderful books.

This got me thinking about other books I love, such as the Inheritance 'Trilogy' you know the one they made the fist book into a move called 'Eragon'.

When I start reading I become a devouer of books, if I start reading a series I chose that series becuase it was finnished and the story has an ultimate conclusion. I am angry. Two years ago I finnished reading the third book in a trilogy, instead of ending it will be concluded in a fourth book. That book has yet to be released, named or maybe... written? Its been two years.. not happy. On the other hand my Father is an avid fan of the 'wheel of time' series, the author died before he finnished the last book, talk about letting down a fan base.

Ke$ha has a song out about 'sending a dirty picture'... Great now all those tweens will be out there 'sexting' (regardless of age this is an indictable offence under legislation criminalising child pornography) good one ke$ha...

Back to my book- Obiter

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

How do I celebrate end of exams for the semester?

Had my final exam for the semester, how do I celebrate?

Drinking myself into a vodka induced coma? No.

Dancing all night? No.

I purchase fiction, Anne Rice to be exact (still beats Stephaine Myer for beautiful vampires any day, vampires in sunlight? WTF!?!) curl up in a ball and read for hours, drinking up every un-law related sentence.

This. Is. Bliss. How I have missed fiction so.

Crim exam went like this:


I think I at least passed. Don't want to wear a wig anyways (I am lying).

Blissed out in fiction - Obiter

Monday, June 14, 2010

A case of the exam crazies

The last few weeks have been intense.

Mr. Ovum and I had a fight over rice... RICE! That is how stressed out I am.

I remeber reading all these law student blogs before uni started, I was actually excited about going through this... if I could just slap Obiter of 5 months ago, I probably would..

so this has been the experance so far:


Holy shit that was crazy, the day before was spent going though every piece of legislation and case law. I think I performed OK on the day of the exam. Many people I spoke to did not finnish the questions. I managed to get most of what I wanted to say on the paper, this leads me to the conclusion that I must have missed something, pretty sure I know what it was. We shall have to wait and see. The massive hand cramps get a mention too. My hand at one point looked like it belonged to a thousand year old man with arthrits, even tried to write holding the pen differenly to subdue the pain - fail.


After spending large amounts of the Q&A book all the semesters work kind of fell into place for me. the Q&A book had some total nuggets of gold for particular issues. At the very least I think I would have passed.


THANK GOD for past exam papers and aswer guides. Over the last 7 years the questions asked had not differed in the content required. I still think some of the answer was a little 'shot gun' but I think I showed an ability to work through the majority of the question in a structured manner. However, the essay question was a freaking nighmare, 'judges have the power to make law though their decisions, should judges have the power to do this? why?' sigh. I think my answer should have started with 'I forefit any marks available though this answer due to a demonstated abililty to dribble incoherent verbage on paper'.


Last one, still to sit it. The pre exam freak out will commence shortly.

I have a date with the criminal code - Obiter

Friday, May 28, 2010

Pin the issue on the tort

Yesterday I finally got some marks back for the Torts memorandum.

I passed - just.

Torts issue spotting as a childs game: If issue spotting was like pin the tial on the donkey, pin the issue on the tort, I would have stuck some kids eye out... no... wait that would have been a tort.

I recieved exactly 10/20. with a big fat 0 for correct issue, never before have I recieved a circle around the 'inadequate' colum. My only saving grace was correct structure, argument (for the few bits I did spot) and wrting in general - WTF. My writing has tradtionally been total crap.

I am now closer to passing (yet to have exams) Contracts, my most loathed subject then Torts the one I love.

Teaching is over for the semester is over, the acrid smell of despair has already started to auccumulate in the law libary.

Going to pin somthing to my forehead, most likly a dunce cap - Obiter

Monday, May 24, 2010

On Master Chef

Season 2 of Master Chef is aring.

There are 20 people viaing for the chance to open a place of their own or work in a kitchen. if these people believe that working in a kitchen is the answer to a fulfilling life, I would ask them a few questions:

1. Have you ever opened 20kg of potatoes and and found half of them rotten (that smell is just noxious) and then have to prepare the other half? your fingers actually sink into the the rotten spots as you go through them.

Still want to be a chef?

2. How do you like your social life? Wave goodbye to it.

You still want to be a chef? Really?

3. have a partner? Like to keep your current one? Perhaps you should re-think that, only few full time kitchen workers have relationships with those outside the industry.

Come on *slap* WAKE UP. Working in a kitchen is not like 12 hours of the food net work. Idiot.

Cooking for a living is highly overrated - Obiter

Saturday, May 15, 2010

The eye of the storm

All assesment items have been handed in.

It is week 12 of 13, the only thing left to do is 4 tutes, then exams start.

A feeling of quiet serenity has settled, I know this is a false sense of security because in 3 weeks the shit fight that is exam block starts.

A few days ago I had my first advocacy exercise. This is the subject that I really should not be enrolled in, all the skills for this subject are supposed to be learnt in the year before in foundations, not at the same time as I am doing it.

The moot court advocacy has been stressing me out, I am not a public speaker any more, once upon a time getting up in front of 80 people to talk about something sales related was no problem. Last year the typical fear of public speaking took hold, followed by the babbling incoherent verbal dribble.

I spent hours and hours working on this piece, opposing council was a far moreexperanced and probably more articulate, smarter, better dressed and generally better student than I am. I was freaking out.

An email went out to all the students advsing that 'due to amaedmendments, pushing a door that is open will now amount to a 'break' as per the Criminal Code' - this shot my case to hell, just to add an extra layer of 'shit, shit, shit' on my mental frame of mind. So I checked the amenmennts, went to the explaitorty memoranda then to the parlimetary debates. It turns out the amendments affected a differnt part of the section, not the part I was relying on. Opposing council and even the 'judge' did not see this comming.

I won, I won, I won. A 1L beat a 3L. This is freaking ausome!!

So my first moot court is a success, not the painful memory I was expecting it to turn into.

However it is early days yet.

Zorbing - I climbed into a big plastic ball and was pushed down a hill today. Less fun then is sounds, we drove for an hour and half there and back for a 30 second tumble. At least I can add it to sky diving as things I have done - yay for me.

I have to procastiate elsewhere - Obiter ovum

Sunday, May 2, 2010

More little wins

Every Wednesday I fantasize about standing a pencil on end and slamming my head on it, Joker in Batman style to end my pain in contracts.

Also I had managed to quit smoking for about 6 months, until after one Wednesday evening it was either break down and cry or suck on a cancer stick, I have since returned to an unhealthy smoking habit, I am not blaming contracts, only showing you the severe emotional distress I encounter though contracts.

Yesterday my marks (worth 25%) came back on the mid-semester exam for contracts, I received a distinction, not a pass or a credit (which I would have been ecstatic about) but a distinction. I knows its only a small portion if my overall mark but now some of the heat is off for the final exam.

The marks for foundations also came back, another distinction.

I have been worrying about being in lawschool though sneaking through the back door, still am. These small tid bits of feedback make me feel better about being in those classess with the super bright OP 1 & 2 kids.

Feeling less crappy - Obiter

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Little wins and a pile of 'to do'


I have before me a glass of wine (not so much a galss as a cup, not so much wine as goon, to put goon in a wine glass would just be plain wrong) and toasted cheese, tomato chuty and smoky BBQ sauce sandwiches. Yum.

After weeks of trying and hard nose to grind stone criminal work today it paid off. Last time the tutor asked me a question i mumbled something incoherent and hoped she would leave me alone, no such luck more questions and more stupid answers. Today not only did I have the answer, when I went diving for it, it hit me that I could recite the law and apply it to the facts with a valid conclusion hooray!

More 0f those little moments are happening more often too!

The heat is on, assessments are due and time is short. I have cut back my hours at work much to the disapproval of work, but hey if they sack me it might just be the prompt needed to get out of there.

Need more wine - Obiter

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goon -It would seem a few of the people that read this blog are from the states so this is goon. Also youtube 'goon of fortune' - A tonne of fun.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

NO FU*#ING WAY! - Slaming head on the panic button

It happened, it never happens to you when you hear about it.

You know how teachers always go on about saving your work in multiple places? Ever thought "yeah I know, I know move on to something interesting.." It happened.

I do save things in on desktop AND on my USB. Yesterday my pc caught some kind of PC swine flu and died. Mr Ovum (thank God) is a IT nerd so managed to save the actual PC however my user and all my stuff not so much.

Only about 1/2 of my work was saved in a safe place, and even then it was not updated. Last week I sent my contracts and Torts notes to the cackling Magpie so that was safe *sigh*.

However my criminal law outline that was the result of hours and hours of tears, frustration and pain is gone, all gone.


Monday, April 12, 2010

Tests, Tea, Trannies and Cake

Hollidays are over, back to it then.

Tests: I had my first test for law school today (multi choice). Pretty sure I did at least O.K. To all those law students with iPones and Ipod touches - Quizlet app... best flash card app ever! download it now. really do it right this second.

Tea: I went all herbal and bought 'power' tea today, that in it's self is not funny. How the serving girl spilt it all over the dirty counter is not the kicker. When she proceeded to scrape the tea off the bench and back in to the container seal it and sell it to me was. This girl was all 'I am just so clumsy (which I can understand)' so I felt obliged to nod, sympathize and buy my 'counter power' tea.

Trannnies and Cake: I have seen many, many drag shows but this one has got to be the best. The dance floor is cleared, a tarp is laid and a single chair is placed in the middle. The super trashy Queen from a small outback town in snake skin tights and too tight boob tube holding a 'Coles go green canvas bag' walks onto the stage.

The bag is placed on the chair, the room goes quiet. I will always love you starts to play, as she winds up to the big Ballard part she reached into the bag and pulls out a big creamy sponge cake and screams/mimes AND IIIIIIIIEEIII WILL ALLLWAAAYS LOOVE YOOOU!!. Plunges a fist into the cake and crams it into her mouth, then starts to throw it across all the clubbers.. people has their faces smooshed into her fake boobs and cake.

There was cream and sponge from one end of the dance floor to the , cake was flung at every one at the front of the show- Best show ever and my mind kept creaming battery, battery, boleti non fit injuria, battery! Is staying to watch the show after the first cake flinging implied consent?...

Now I just want cake - Obiter
Say hi, leave a comment, feel free to feed my ego, tell me I am funny, made you smile, bitch about my lack of corrent uses of comma's' or poor proof reading. Or that I am a moron (you read a morons blog?)

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Slimy note feind (SNF)

A history of note feind.

last year: In first semester SNF asked if we could get together for a study session around exam time. Being the social person I am we found a time to catch up. After SNF copied all my notes he rushed away without reciprocating. I felt used. Not good used, the bad kinda dirty kind.

In second semester it happened again. I am a sucker.

This year. I received many calls from SNF asking if I could send him my notes for assessment "I will change the answers and stuff so that they are different" Na Ah - twice bitten, third time shy. As a kept finding ways out of it he eventually got the hint.

A few weeks ago he was at the study desk asking some (most likely moronic) question about the library exercise. He saw me and asked "I don't mean to be rude but, have you put on weight?"... Yeah that's the way to get other people to help.. asshole.

Moments ago: He was buddied up with another guy asking questions non stop.

Now if your in law school and are going to try and squeeze an answer for every question without using your own brain, how are you going to function in the big bad world where have to think for yourself???

SNF is an insidious leech and it bugs me.

It is Wicked Wednesday, so back to study for contracts - Obiter

Thursday, March 25, 2010

A pleasent supprise

Since moving out of home I morphed into Martha Stewats lost son. The I started law school and that shot to hell faster then a mobidly obease kid eats a cup cake. Mr. Ovum doesn't 'do' house work (somehow I found myself in a 1960's relationship without the plastic everything, the ugly kitch crap and the 1960's)

I came home and:

1. The house is tidy
2. Dishes were done (not put away but baby steps)

I suspect this is the doing of the new housemate, but I am not complaining.

Thus I can justify reading my fav blogs and avoiding study, I did however manage to make up a case templte to organise my case notes as postit notes on the pages in the casebook works only when they stick to the case.

Contracts still suck - Obiter

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Issue? what issue?

Its Wicked Wednesday again.

I spent 10 hours maybe more on contracts this week. After hours and hours of outlining and study I attempted the seminar questions. Fail.

I am missing soo very much. I get the issues everyone else misses but the blatantly obvious ones i.e was there acceptance I just totally miss. Its depressing. Eye of the tiger now playes before and after that seminar. AAARGHH *slams shell on desk*

And all the courts Clerks and all the courts Associates couldn't put Obiter together again.

Saturday, March 20, 2010


That soul sucking void in the earth where culinary optimism goes to die? before tonight I had never been told to put lime in the holindaise, Chef Past It then went on a 20 minute rant about me not reading the menu and that I should read it... I managed to not go though the menu and highlight everything else that missing on it he neglects to mention. Other than, just great.

Well... I did not hate myself after last class, that's an improvement...

Criminal law.
My tutor enjoys the slow roasting or sacred students. probably deserves a blog of its own.

*insert attempt at wit here* - Obiter

Monday, March 15, 2010

Fall From Cullinary Grace.

I disgust me.

I am a chef by trade, and even on my most slack days if I dont want to cook I will make a simple sauce from scratch, using dried herbs if I must.

As law school has become pretty much all consuming my Mr. Ovum who untill recently had not stepped inside a Wollworths for over 18 months has been sent to gather food. While he tires it ends up being mostly junk food (because I just don't buy chips, sodt drink, biscuts ect..). This results in having almost nothing to work with in the kitchen.

Tonight after spending too much time reading blogs and avoiding work it hit me that dinner should be done soon (if it was just me I am all for cerail for dinner). Well I cant be assed tonight. Beef Stoginoff from a jar it is! First meal in 2 years that will be served in this house from a bottle. Mr. Ovum better hope it is crap, 10 minutes to cook a meal.. wow, all those mums could have been on to somthing all this time. It could start a trend.

Popping the jar - Obiter

20 minutes later - Yup that was nasty, pouring it out of the jar it was a plasticy stream of brown sludge, there is this weird after taste too...

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Eye of the tiger.

It is Sunday and I am still getting over Wednesday.

Some people hate Mondays, I hate Wednesdays. Wednesdays are contracts days. I hate contracts.

On Wednesdays at 8:00pm any confidence that had built up over the week while studying the contracts text book is systematically torn down. In all my other classes I can keep up and if I have made a mistake I can locate where the fault in logic is, not in contracts. After contracts the walk to the train in spent hating myself, feeling grossly inadequate and doubting my decision to move to law.

So I get home, pour a glass of wine. Turn on eye of the tiger and keep slogging at it.

- eeeeye of the tiigerrr obiter

*I will survive is also on the *don't give up* play list.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Criminal nosebleeds

I am an class 'A' dipshit, why?

Because I followed the 'recommended pattern for Other Degree to Law transition' classes. Effectively this means that I am doing a 2L subject with my 1L subjects. This 'transition' is also recommended for graduate entry students.

Criminal law is the offending subject. I spent most of my Sunday in the Library at Carton University's arts campus (you know, the degrees that mostly revolve around narcissistic goals like arts, music, dance and so on. The type of students that need to be kept far far away from the more traditional business, engineering and law type students hence the different campus) because it is driving distance and on a Sunday parking is easy. I then spent 5 hours with big ugly books and a case list.

It's the case list I have an issue with. 1L subjects we are handed the cases, spoon fed, they practically make aeroplane noises as they hand them to us cooing 'incoming'. Second year apparently its a cold, cold dose of reality, hunt and kill your own cases. Now this is supposed to be preceded with learning workshops and skills building in 1L to get us ready for this 'transition'. What happens when you have a case list a mile long and no fucking idea how to find them?

1) Dump case list in bin and give it up as a poor taste joke.
2) Stare blankly at westlaw and lexisnexis and wonder why there is no results when you type the case in the 'citation' box
3) Wonder why you pay $300 for a 'casebook' with none of the cases in it, hit head with book and try again.

(asking a Liberian is pointless they are not law library staff and give you a ' sorry but how the fuck should I know look')

I managed to get some of the cases, in fact I am quite chuffed I managed to get cases outside the Australian jurisdiction at all. So I went home an consoled myself with some Torts study, at least with Torts I don't feel like my yolk has been hard boiled rendering intelligent though impossible.

The learning curve is 90 degrees baby.. Obiter

Thursday, March 4, 2010

A Carbolic Smoke what??

Oh Oh Oh look at me!!

I have a pure breed gunner in my contracts class. Some brave sociologist should attempt to study this creature in its optimal habitat - the center of the tutors attention.

I will even give them a head start.

Habitat: Gunneris Contratcis is a recluse, he only ventures out of what ever grime filled hovel he habitates to attend a lecture or tutorial. This is only because in such places he can get called on to show his idiot savant like abilities.

Diet: In short breaks this specimen runs to the closest vending machine for chips, pork rinds or likewise greasy food. While nobody has seen him eat a meal it is safe to assume it is high fat, greasy and processed. This can be deducted from the thick grease stains that cover his laptop and give off a high sheen effect in the class lights. It has been observed that Gunneris Contratcis will insert all each finger into his mouth to make sure every last bit of nasty has been licked clean from each digit.

Social likes: Gunneris Contratcis loves the sound of his own voice, this is amplified when his voice is talking to a person of academic authority.

Social dislikes: Not being the center of the Tutors attention, especially if hand has been raised for exteneded period of time without being called on. This is evident from the red coloring and angry atmosphere around Gunneris Contractis in such a situation.

Mating: The plumage of Gunneris Contratcis is dull, dirty and probably smelly (I am not game enough to get close enough to find out). Until this specimen graduates and convinces some unwitting female they are worth procreating with in exchange for bright shiny things, there is little hope for sexual conduct while in lawschool.

Now to the mountain of homework - Obiter

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

So this is it hey

Umm wow the last week has been intense.

It is like some sort of ritualistic hazing, personally i would prefer all the tutors and professors to line up with spank boards and have a whack to get it over and done with.

If I remeber correctly this feeling of panic and general feeling of dispair did not arrive untill mid to late semester. Everything is just so new, and I feel soo very stupid. I get feeling a little slow from time to time but reading the same passage over and over and only having the smallest bit make it into my head if frustrating. Man I hope this is newbie nerves.
Gonna go Squich - Obiter

Thursday, February 25, 2010

My first Preppy Douche Bag

Waiting to enter class I caught this conversation.

PDB: “yeah well most will drop out and have to work at McDonalds”
Friend of PDB: “Yeah”
PDB: (in condescending tone) “and the other half came from Other Degree so they wont last”

I spent all last year in Other Degree, I quite like Other Degree. In Other Degree people are nice, people made an effort to be nice to others. You Sir. Are a Douche Bag. PDB and I are ‘assisting the court’ in some weeks together – I will make you cry…

Yes, Yes you will be assisting the court….

In the class with PDB we had ‘call over’s’ this is where you approach the moot courts’ bench and state “Good morning you Honour, my name is Obiter Ovum and I will be representing Silly Moron the defendant in this matter” as I can be a little obsessive compulsive for my call over I had the week, case, name and speech all on an index card. As a part of the tutes we have also got to prepare back up for three weeks after the defence and prosecution talk other people then stand up and say ‘Good morning your Honour my name is Ima Compulsive Tabber and I will we working to assist the court in this matter.

I thought I had mine all worked out. As the ‘judge’ (actually the unit co-ordinator so this roll play is her pet, as such deviation form this protocol as happened in other tutes was not likely) looked at me while repeating “any body else for that week” I thought as I was so organised it was some other disorganised sucker that forgot their week. Not so much. As I finally clicked on to what was going on it was too late, I had been labelled the slow one. The ‘judge’ made some remark to the effect of ‘yes, yes you most certainly will be assisting the court” that made everyone burst out in laughter – PDB will never suspect the slow one...

I saw this one a friends Facebook and loved it.


- Obiter

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

It's rainng coffee?

Coffee + flimsy note top holder + me = DANGER!
As the two chicks in front of me who got sprayed with a jumbo skinny flat white discovered.  My friend the Cackling Magpie then squawked “great way to meet new people Obiter, spill coffee on them and then offer to lick it up – brilliant!
Safe to say they will be giving me a wide space next lecture.  
Today I spent 6 hours trying to wrap my head around the IRAC method on a contracts problem.  I have never been so nervous that I will get into class say my answer will be so poor I get laughed out of the room.  This is freaking intense, in the other degree  with the time and effort I spent today I could have written and polished a 15,000 litterateur review.  All I managed to do in that time was confuse myself and cause some brain cells to explode from frustration.
This was some gold form Tute/Lecture yesterday.
**Girl enters late and sits down**
Prof Dusty:  “Umm hi, you are either ten minutes early or very, very late?”
Random Girl: “Is this not mathematic goobldy goop”
Prof Dusty: “your in the wrong class, these people can't count their fingers”
** as we are doing the ‘introductions’ in the tute **
Private school snob: “I decided to come to this Uni after a year of an arts degree”
Prof Dusty: “So you decided to do a real degree, good choice”
** While going though the introductory guide**
Prof Dusty: I can honestly tell you I was the first person to write this 30 years ago, back then it was a page and a half… Blah blah blah… I asked why we have to put this trash in here…what crap…read it if you get really board and fell the need to read what happens when academic lawyers get board.”

no more coffee in lectures - Obiter

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Damp Hungy & Pissy

Yesterday we were informed that a lecture was to be held today.  Apparently this little piece of news was posted on some obscure little corner of cyber space.  Last night I spent an hour looking for that corner to no avail.  I was pretty sure the mousy woman down the front said the lecture was to be at 1-3.  Being the super excited 1L all to eager to do good I planned on being early. Early is good.
Yesterday I packed an extra shirt in the likely event that I made a grub of myself and needed to change.  I managed to get though the day and not need the shirt.
As I arrived in Carton City it started to pour down, not some pissy drizzly or light raining.  Flash flooding type pouring.  On the way to Carton University I learnt first hand that thongs (the ones you wear on your feet) will get sucked off your foot and leave running down the main road chasing the other thong in some strange hobble/limp.   I was going to need that other shirt.
After milling around the lecture theatre for 10 minutes before and not seeing another sole I figured I was either way too early or at the wrong room.  I went to the Law library (who was running this lecture) to discover that I was 3 hours early – just wonderful.  I had 3 hours to kill with no money and a stomach growling loudly enough get awkward looks from the people around me.  So I spent the time drafting hate mail to the library.
After the two hour lecture on something about legal something (I was too busy thinking about food to pay attention) I was taking to a friend about my plight who informed me that ‘O’ week was full of free food stalls at the front of the campus.  I spent hours commiserating with staving children (yeah I just made that comparison don’t like it leave a comment, you would be the first).  Only to discover that if I had left the library free food was every where.
I spent the day in self deprecating in hunger and dampness – oh this semester is shaping up just brilliantly.
Now dry and less pissy – Obiter

Monday, February 15, 2010

Welcome to Lawschool

I wish I had some interesting post on why orientation was better then picking my nose, but that would be a lie.  I did however badly need to pee, boredom led me to drink copious amounts of water within the first 20 minutes.  It was a long lecture.  Also on either side of me on the combined seating rack were compulsive leg shakers.  Needing to pee on any given day is bad.  Leg shakers are also annoying in any situation.  The combination results in a vibrating bladder that wants to PEE.     
Oh yeah that was fun.
The associate dean of school gave us five archetypes and asked up to identify with one.  This is was I got from the archetypes.
The Phantom: Uses mostly internet media to study.
(I don’t want to got to or I slept though the lectures)
The Friend:  Finds the best study is done in groups.
(travels in cliques, will bitch you down if your opinion does not match theirs)
The Party Animal: At university for the social aspect.
(Can I.. uhh.. Borrow your notes?)
The lecturers Friend: Like to make sure the lecture knows them.
(Does not know grading is blind and that no matter how much you kiss ass it will only boost the ego of the professor not your grades)
The Conscientious: Insures that they are always on top of their studies
(no you cannot ‘borrow’ my notes)
That’s about it. – Obiter