Motor Skills I Denounce You!

I am clumsy, the sort of clumsy where I get given the ‘special glass’ that is really made of plastic when I visit friends.

When I become an apprentice chef my mothers’ words were “Obiter, kitchens are full of hot, sharp and dangerous implements. Are you sure you want to do that?”. Growing up I broke countless plates, glasses actually anything capable of being broken was in danger of being broken if it was sucked in to my vacuum of clumsy. For years the parents tried yelling, talking, pleading and asking me to be more careful before accepting that there is no hope of it getting any better.

When I moved into to Mr. Ovum’s house he had all lovely sets of plates and glasses… I have since changed that. His hopeful exuberance that he can change my ability to smash, crush, break generally destroy breakables is yet to be

All summed up often I become a walking hazard. The salad section at work was doing my mind in out of boredom so I moved over to the oven side (where all the cooking action is at).

Hot ovens burn body parts on contact. Oven trays leave cut like burns. My arms now look like those of an emo cuter – just wonderful.